


Golden Lads and Girls All Must

by hyacinth_sky747



Category: Harry Potter - Fandom
Genre: F/M, M/M, maurader era
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-04-14
Updated: 2012-04-14
Packaged: 2017-11-03 15:42:20
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death, Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 6
Words: 25,932
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/383110
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/hyacinth_sky747/pseuds/hyacinth_sky747





	1. Chapter 1

**Golden Lads and Girls All Must**  
A Marauder Era Story  
Part One

Disclaimer: This fictional world is not my property and I seek only live for a bit longer in the world that J.K. Rowling created.

 

  
Hermione Weasley picked her way up the icy front walk to the gardener’s cottage. Molly had given her the name of this gentleman to interview for her book on the first war. There were so many stories and interviews from the second war, her war, but the first war was still shrouded in an air of mystery and so many of the key players of that war were dead now.

“You should interview Mr. Keeland, dear,” Molly said.

“Who?”

“He was a member of The Order of the Phoenix. The first time, you know.”

“Why have I never heard of him?”

“Oh, he got hurt. It put him out of action for awhile but he was a hero. It’s a shame no one remembers him.” Molly paused and picked up her knitting, carefully not looking Hermione in the eye. “He was a great friend of my brother’s. Gideon, that is. Well, Fabian too I suppose, but he was Gideon’s particular friend.”

Hermione hardly dared to breathe. Molly never talked about her brothers.

“I’ve never heard you talk about your brothers before,” she whispered.

Molly closed her eyes and her face wrinkled into lines of pain. “I can’t. It must seem silly after all these years, but…they were my little brothers. Of course, they were both men when they died, not that I ever gave them credit for it, like little Freddy, I can still feel the infant weight of him in my arms. Even when they were grown, you see, I always saw them as my little brothers.”

“Of course,” Hermione said.

“Anyway, Mr. Keeland, Walter Keeland, knew them both well. He stayed here for a time, when he was hurt. After Gideon and Fabian died we lost touch. I’m ashamed to say I let it happen. It was too painful to talk to him. But I did get in touch with him during the last war. He did a favor for The Order. He’s probably still at the same address.”

“What favor?”

Molly pressed her lips together. “I think I’ll let him tell you about it, dear. It’s his story.”

And so Hermione had come to this little house on the moor to hear the tale.

~*~

Walter Keeland was a small man. He was not unkind but he didn’t smile as he showed Hermione into the sitting room and offered her tea. There was a quiet dignity about him, a dignity that he seemed to work hard to maintain.

“You look like your mother,” he said once the tea was poured.

Hermione winced. “Do you know my mother?”

“No, I never knew her. I just know what she looked like at your age. But that’s the story you’ve come to hear, is it not?”

Hermione felt wrong-footed. “No, Mr. Keeland, Molly thought you might be able to tell me about the first war. She didn’t mention my mother.”

“But that story is about the first war. It’s also about the second war. It’s the reason you’re a witch. Well, most probably. We can’t be sure. You may have been born a witch regardless but Muggles who have contact with wizards often bear magical children.”

“But my parents never had contact with the magical world until they had me. They didn’t even know it existed!”

“Yes, well we had to tamper with their memories. It’s probably why you’re having so much trouble bringing them back now. You can only fool with a person’s memories so many times before…things get complicated.”

Hermione dissolved into tears. Mr. Keeland laid a hand on her shoulder.

“I didn’t know. No one told me. I would have found some other way if I knew I’d never get them back.”

“You may yet, love. You may yet.”

“I’ve tried everything I can think of and…”

“You’ll think of something else. Maybe my story will help you.”

Hermione sniffed and wiped her eyes on the handkerchief Mr. Keeland offered. “Molly said you were a hero during the first war. How? Does it have something to do with my parents? With me?”

Mr. Keeland stiffened and walked slowly across the room to stand in front of the fire.

“I’ve had a lot of time to think about heroes. I think I was one, once, briefly. That sounds immodest but I’m not trying to be. I think that my friends and I were just ordinary people, who were placed in circumstances where we had no choice but to act heroic.

But there’s a danger in going looking for heroes. Dark times will come again someday. People will look for another Potter, another Dumbledore, another Prewett, McKinnon, or Vance. But they won’t come. If we wait for heroes to save us we won’t be saved. The only heroes are us. We all have heroes inside of us. You know this. You were made to be a hero yourself.”

“Will you tell me your story of the First War, Mr. Keeland?”

Mr. Keeland turned from studying the fire to fix his gaze upon Hermione. She was lovely, he thought, so young, so dewy, with tears still swimming in her eyes. Her hands rested unconsciously on her belly. He had known girls like her. He had loved girls like her. He had lost girls like her.

He winced. “I’ve tried not to think of it for so long. You must understand that. My memories, they may paint us in a more favorable light that years have the habit of painting memories with. I lost everyone I ever loved to Voldemort. I can’t help but talk of them fondly.”

Hermione crossed the room to put a hand on his shoulder.

“I understand.”

“Do you? You walked away from a war with the man you love still alive,” he nodded to her folded hands. “You have moved on. I’ve had no such luck.”

Hermione blushed and flattened her hands against the small bump of her belly.

“Gideon?”

“Yes, Gideon. “

~*~

The snow that had fallen all day turned to a freezing rain as evening gathered itself around Hogsmead. Gideon pulled the door to the Hog’s Head closed behind him, pulled the hood of his cloak over his hair and began to trudge into the wind. He should have apparated straight to The Burrow. He was already late and Molly would go mental when he actually did show up. Still, he was drawn down the icy street to the little cottage at the end of it.

The cottage was abandoned, cold, dark. It had once held soft, homey, light in its windows. It had once been something of a second home to Gideon and his brother. He could hear her voice in his mind, the ghost of a conversation from long ago.

_And when we’re all grown up we’ll come here for all our weddings, in the shadow of our school, where we all met. Do you think I’ll marry him? We could be sister and brother for real._

Gideon didn’t remember what he’d replied and there was nothing to see but the rain coating the windows with a thin veneer of ice but Gideon needed to look at it. He needed to say goodbye.

“Maybe someday…” he whispered to the house, but stopped. No point in giving it false hope.

~*~

“Did you see her?”

“No, Julian was with them when it happened. I spoke with him.”

“Julian? Why was Julian there?”

“He’s her boyfriend, Fabe. Let it rest.”

“How many Death Eaters were there?”

“He couldn’t be sure. It happened so fast. He thinks five, maybe more.”

Fabian stood and crossed to the wall, drawing back his fist. He stopped short of actually punching it, bringing both hands to his head instead and holding it as if it hurt.

“Five fucking Death Eaters to attack a family arranging their grandmother’s funeral.”

“I know, Fabe, anyway, they’re all safe. Her dad’s a little banged up, but safe. They’re in London.”

“Where? Let’s go.”

“Julian couldn’t tell me. He’s not secret keeper.”

~*~

There were puddles on the path next to the lake. It had rained all morning but now the clouds were racing madly overhead, tumbling over themselves, frenetic. They moved through the sky in much the same way as Walter moved down the path. The path was fairly straight but Walter fairly zigzagged down it, stopping to pocket a rock, or inspect a tree branch, or running ahead to see around a bend only to stop short and zoom back to look in a puddle. One might have thought he was searching for something but Gideon knew that was just the way Walter moved through the world, except on those rare days when his energy crashed and he was moody and sullen.

Gideon ambled along behind him, breathing in the smell of spring mud.

Walter paused to wait for Gideon to catch up where the path veered away from the lake and entered a pine wood. He held out his hand.

“It’s a snail,” Gideon said, looking at the small creature in Walter’s palm.

“It’s a moon snail.”

“What? It’s from the moon?”

“Don’t be daft. It glows when there’s a new moon.”

“I’ve never heard of them.”

“I’ll show you, next new moon.”

For all that Walter never seemed to look at a book he had an incredible wealth of knowledge stored under his cap.

“Come on, then,” Walter said. “We’re nearly there.” He ran off ahead.

There was a spot in the pine wood. It was a secret spot though Gideon was sure countless generations of Hogwarts students had found it. The pine boughs kept it dry in nearly all weather, kept it slightly dark and safe from prying eyes. There were two big boulders nestled next to an ancient tree and Walter was leaning on one when Gideon crept into the little hollow.

“Hurry up, for Merlin’s sake. I’ve got Charms in an hour.”

Gideon didn’t hurry. He stood just out of reach and smiled at his friend.

“You’ve got pine sap on your nose.”

“I don’t care. Do you care? I don’t care.”

“You have mud in your hair.”

“I’m washable.”

“What else are you?”

“Kissable.”

Gideon smiled. “Are you?”

“Find out.”

~*~

Fabian flug himself down on Gideon’s bed, causing Gideon’s book to flip several pages, and his ink bottle to wobble alarmingly.

“Oi! Careful!”

Fabian was not careful. He was big. He was tall and had a big voice and a big personality. Sometimes Fabian seemed to take up the whole world, or, on this occasion, the whole bed.

“Rumor has it that you and my friend Walter went for a little walk this afternoon.”

Gideon decided to ignore him. This course of action had proven successful exactly one time in the seventeen years they had been twins. As it was the only course of action with any success rate it was the one Gideon returned to time and again in those moments when he wished he had been alone in the womb.

“How is dear Walter?”

Gideon picked up his quill.

“I’m only asking because I saw him on the stairs and he looked quite…debauched. He had mud in his hair.”

Gideon turned a page, loudly.

“I do hope you remembered to bring a blanket this time. He might catch a chill rolling about on the ground. He’s quite delicate, you know. Remember the time he caught dragon pox? I’m concerned, Gids. I just want to be sure you’re taking every precaution. As your older brother I feel it’s my duty to…”

“Bugger off, will you? It’s none of your business.”

Fabian took this to mean that Gideon had flung the doors of conversation wide open and so leaned in close for a heart to heart.

“Gids, I just want to make sure you know something about Walter before you get your heart broken.”

“What would you know about him?”

“He’s my oldest friend, Gids, apart from you. But you don’t really count, do you?”

“Stop with the flattery.”

“I’m just trying to do my duty as an older and wiser brother, to…”

“Alright, alright! Shut up already. What did you learn about Walter Keeland in those ten extra minutes that you’ve been on the planet?”

“Do you really want to know?”

Gideon rolled his eyes and made to stand up. “Twat.”

“Alright, settle down, no need to use foul language.”

Gideon sat back down. “What?”

“It’s just…this may come as a shock, Gids. He doesn’t…Walter, I mean…”

“Let me show you my last nerve, Fabian.”

“He doesn’t, Walter, that is, he doesn’t have tits.”

It was silent for about five seconds while Gideon blinked.

“I knew it might be a shock to…”

Gideon launched himself across the bed at Fabian. The covers jerked sideways and ink bottle, book, and brothers fell in a tangled mess onto the floor. “Imagine how he feels!” Fabian howled as he dodged Gideon’s flailing fists. “I don’t think he knows either. I don’t have the heart to tell the poor bastard.”

At that moment the door to the dormitory opened and Walter himself shuffled in wearing a robe and slippers. His hair was wet from the bath. Edgar Bones trailed in behind him, dumping his Quidditch gear in a smelly heap on his bed.

“Oi! Incest is not allowed at Hogwarts,” Edgar said.

“What’s going on?” Walter asked.

“If it isn’t the titless wonder himself,” Fabian noted while Gideon sputtered and tried to untangle himself from the blankets.

“That’s Sir Titless Wonder to you, Fabe. You’re both covered in ink you know. You’d better go shower. Not together, mind.”

Fabian rose gracefully and gathered his towel and soap. He paused to whip his towel at Edgar. “Come along. You smell and the love birds need to be alone.”

Edgar flung a few curse words and his helmet at Fabian but gathered his own bath things. They left, whipping each other with their towels.

“How long were you listening at the door?” Gideon asked.

“Long enough. I don’t, you know.”

“You don’t what?”

“Have tits.”

Gideon blushed and let his head fall forward to rest on Walter’s shoulder. “He’s never going to give me a moment’s peace about this.”

“He never gives you a moment’s peace about anything. Why should this be any different?”

“He needs a hobby.”

“He needs a girlfriend.”

“Do you think Marlene would go out with him again if I asked really nicely?”

“Well, she’s not mental, is she?”

“No, you’re right. We need to find a mad girl.”

“You’ve ink on your nose, you know.”

“Do I?”

“You’re filthy.”

“What else am I?”

“To be honest, you kind of pong.”

“But you’ll snog me anyway?”

“As long as you promise to bathe immediately thereafter.”

“Yes.”

“With soap this time.”

“Do shut up.”

Gideon left for the showers with a smile on his face. He had nearly forgotten his argument with Fabian and therefore was almost surprised to learn that someone had charmed Fabian’s soap to act like a blue sort of dye. It took nearly a week for the stain to fade completely from Fabian’s skin.

~*~

Gideon did not want to be at war, or whatever the fuck this was. He did not want his mother to be dead. He did not want Marlene and her family to be in hiding. He did not want kids as young as Bridget Bones, who was just seventeen, to be risking their lives. He did not want to go to meetings and watch that twit, Sirius Black, try to impress Marlene while Fabian and Julian glared at him. He didn’t want to look the other way so he wouldn’t see Walter hiding how scared he was.

Gideon was scared.

“I don’t think that cup bites, if that’s why you’re glaring at it.”

Gideon shook himself. “Sorry, Marlene. Just thinking.”

“About what? The cake? Is it horrible? I can’t cook. Don’t eat it.”

“No, not the cake. It’s fine. Just…”

“Talk to me, Gids.”

“It’s Potter and Black.”

“Don’t you like them? I think they’re rather funny.”

“They never seem to take it seriously. They act like this, all this, is a game. Like it’s fun. I’m not having fun.”

“No?” Marlene gathered the plates and set them to wash in the sink. “You act like that too, you know. You, and Fabian, and Walter. I do too. We have to. We can’t be all doom and gloom all the time. It helps, to think of it as an adventure, a prank.”

Gideon thought about this, about how Fabian made up ridiculous nicknames for all the Death Eaters, and how Walter wore a Superman shirt under his robes when they were doing something that could turn dangerous. Gideon himself had a notebook full of caricatures of Death Eaters.

“It’s not the same. Black goes after them with a mad sort of glee.”

“He’s getting revenge on his family, in his own way. That has to feel good.”

“I want revenge for my mother but I don’t…”

“You’re older, wiser, better looking, more charming.”

Gideon laughed. “Do go on.”

“I could, for weeks on end, but I’ve got to bring Dad his tea.” As she stood Marlene dropped a kiss onto Gideon’s forehead. “Don’t disappear. I won’t be long.”

Gideon scrubbed the heels of his hands over his eyes. He had to shake this mood. He was rattled. He was rattled because the McKinnons had been attacked, forced into hiding. If it could happen to the powerful McKinnon clan it could happen to anyone.

He got up to pace the room. It wasn’t a bad hiding place by any means. The house belonged to Marlene’s uncle. It was well appointed, elegant. It wasn’t the cozy cottage that Gideon was use to visiting Marlene in. Nothing was the same anymore.

He paced some more and thought about the Death Eaters. Dolohov had been with the group who had attacked Marlene’s family a week ago. Gideon remembered him at the age of 13, crying in the hall after being hexed between classes. Gideon had helped the bastard. Only, he wasn’t a bastard then, just a scared kid crying on the floor.

One of them had murdered his mother. Many of them had tried to slaughter his best friend and her family. He ought not to feel bad about killing them, not that he had killed anyone, yet.

There was a crash in the kitchen. Gideon drew his wand and hurried to the door. Marlene was standing with a tea cup shattered at her feet.

“Gideon,” Fabian said. Gideon didn’t like the way Fabian said his name. There was a warning in it.

“Hello, where did you come from?”

“Gideon, you should sit down.”

Marlene was just staring at the broken teacup on the tile, motionless.

“Did you burn yourself? I’ll fix that.” Gideon pointed his wand at the cup but it just lay there in pieces. Never mind. He would just act normal and the world wouldn’t crash around his shoes. He’d just keep ignoring Fabian’s tone until it settled back into its normal piss-taking.

“Gideon,” Fabian said again. He’d just ignore it. It had worked that one time when they were six. He’d just ignore it.

“Gids.” This was whispered, so gently. His name was whispered so gently from his boorish brother’s lips.

“No, don’t tell me.”

Marlene finally moved. Her eyes were wide and dark and held some emotion that Gideon didn’t want to name.

“Is it Molly? The boys? Arthur? No, don’t tell me. Just wait. Just wait a minute.”

Fabian turned to point his own wand at the shattered cup and it rose in the air to land on the counter, fully mended.

“Gideon,” Marlene said, and then Gideon knew the emotion that was growing in her eyes. It was pity. For him.

“It’s Walter,” Gideon said.

Fabian nodded and Gideon squeezed his eyes shut, not wanting to see the confirmation, not wanting to see this brother that was so changed from the schoolboy he had been just a few short years ago. That brother would never have brought him this news.

“He’s alive, Gids. He’s hurt, but he’s alive. Dumbledore and Pomfrey are with him.”

Gideon meant to ask where, what, how, but when he opened his mouth a gasping sob came out instead. Marlene hurried over to him and took his hand.

“We’ll take you to him. Fabian can tell us about it on the way.”

“This is the safest place for all of us right now,” Fabian objected.

“Appearance charms, Muggle clothes, we’ll apparate. Wait here, Gideon.”

Fabian followed her from the room. Gideon could hear their fiercely whispered argument as Marlene opened and closed drawers and doors. They reappeared a few moments later bundled in Muggle coats and scarves. Marlene was the only person who could bully Fabian.

“I’m just going to tell Dad I’m going out.” Marlene hurried up the stairs.

“Where’s she going to say she’s going?” Gideon asked. “The cinema?”

“She’ll tell him the truth. He won’t stop her.”

“She should be lying to her Dad about popping out to the cinema and secretly meeting up with disreputable boys. She shouldn’t be living like this. She shouldn’t be in danger.”

Fabian sighed, “Put these on.” He handed Gideon a coat and hat. Gideon gazed at them stupidly for a moment. “Come on, one arm at a time. Then your head.” Gideon allowed his brother to guide him into the clothes.

“How bad is he, Fabe?”

Fabian grimaced. “Pretty bad. They had him under the Cruciatus Curse for a long while. He was cut up pretty bad. They stopped the bleeding right away but…when I left he hadn’t stopped screaming yet. He went out alone, Gid. He found out that Lupin and Black were walking into a trap and he went out alone. They caught him alone.”


	2. Chapter 2

“I’ll take the blue,” Emmeline decided.

She looked into the case at the other jewelry spread out while the shopkeeper wrapped her purchases. The blue necklace would suit Marlene exactly. Emmeline sighed with pleasure as she looked around the store. Shopping was such a brilliant escape from all ones worries and Emmeline loved to do her shopping in Muggle London. It felt safe, and a million miles away from the stresses of her life as a witch. She gathered her shopping bags and left the store. She had shopped for everyone except herself. She deserved a treat. Perhaps those pumps she’d been eyeing for weeks would do. First, though, she needed a cup of tea and she needed to send an owl to Dumbledore. 

With a sigh she turned towards Charring Cross Road and the Leaky Cauldron. She’d take a detour through the park. It would look pretty with the light covering of snow and Christmas decorations.

It was a foolhardy decision. Near Kensington Palace her legs seemed to slip on the ice. Her shopping bags scattered into the snow and Marlene’s pretty necklace spilled from its wrappings. 

“Oh bother!”

“Hello, secret keeper.”

Emmeline closed her fingers about the necklace, wondering if she’d survive to see Marlene again.

~*~

“Walter?” 

Walter looked up from his spell work reluctantly. The incantation was six pages long and was written in ancient Egyptian. He’d have to start again from the beginning. 

Lily’s face was white. Walter hoped she wasn’t going to faint again because Walter didn’t know how long he could carry on pretending not to realize. He had spent the afternoon assuring her that people vomited profusely and had fainting spells all the time in his company. 

“Do you need to lie down?”

“No, that’s not…I’m fine. I’ve cracked the code.”

“Brillant!” Walter was gratified. He’d spent all morning watching Borgin and Burkes, waiting for an owl that might never have appeared. It did, though, and had nearly gotten away. It would have if Walter hadn’t decided to leap from the roof top as he threw the spell at it. Lily had patched him up though, in between bouts of vomiting, and she had decoded the message. Walter had a bit of a crush on Lily Potter. 

“Yes, but Walter, it says, 7 p.m. Green Dragon. Sirius and Remus are going to a Green Dragon Inn in Cambridge tonight. They’re meeting some people who may want to join us.”

Walter’s good mood evaporated. “It’s a trap.”

“What time is it?”

Walter glanced at his watch. “Quarter of seven. I’ll go.” 

“I’ll send a Patronus to James. He’s keeping watch but…”

“There isn’t time, Lily. I’ll go.” He’d be late for work at the Department of Mysteries but he didn’t have a choice. 

“You’re right. I’ll go with you.”

“No.”

“You can’t go alone, Walter. I’ll…”

“I’m not taking a pregnant woman to meet up with Death Eaters.” 

“What? I…I’m not…how did you know?”

“You’re glowing.”

Lily smiled softly.

“You also vomited on my sofa and in several potted plants. You swooned and so forth. I won’t tell alright? I have to go.”

“But…” 

“Send a patronus to Dumbledore. Don’t contact Lupin and Black. It might not be safe.”

Walter hurried from the flat to find a spot to apparate. Lily drew her wand. She’d contact Dumbledore and then the Prewett brothers. Then she’d…

The wall of Walter’s flat seemed to ripple and melt. At first she thought she might be fainting again. A bright green light flashed passed her head. The Patronus that she’d been about to send went to James instead. _Help. Now, please. Keeland’s flat._ Then she whirled into action, nausea and dizziness forgotten as she flung spells at her attackers. 

~*~

“Who’s that?”

“It’s an extra little pressie.”

Walter knew three things before he started flinging curses. One, he had apparated right into the trap set for Lupin and Black. Two, Lupin and Black weren’t there yet, and three, he was in very serious trouble. There seemed to be a whole pub full of Death Eaters waiting for him. 

An overturned table offered a momentary shelter but it was soon blasted to pieces by a curse. Walter felt a splinter tear into his thigh and the hot whoosh of a spell as it soared just past his face. He rolled on the floor, despite the pain it caused him. It was harder to hit a moving target. If he stopped moving he was dead. He came to his knees behind the bar. The floor was littered with broken glass. Walter felt it rip through the fabric of his trousers and lodge in his skin. A bottle exploded over his head, raining glass and fire whisky down upon him.

That’s when he saw her. Behind the bar, gagged and bound, lay Emmeline Vance. Her eyes were wide with fright. Her clothes were torn and disheveled in a way that made Walter’s heart break. Walter fired a spell to unbind her; then threw a few choice curses over the top of the bar.

“Are you alright?”

“Fine! They took my wand.”

Walter groaned. He should get her out. He should take her by side-along back to his flat. Lupin and Black could take care…

“Crucio!”

Walter didn’t know who had hit him. All he knew was pain. He toppled forward onto the glass-riddled floor. 

“Walter! Stop it! Stop it, you monster!” Emmeline yelled.

Dolohov raised his wand and Walter stopped convulsing and lay gasping for breath.

“You want me to do it to you instead? We was going to save you for later. Why don’t you watch your little friend die and then me and you can play games all night?”

Walter could barely see past the pain in his head but he’d managed to hold onto his wand. He rolled over in one swift motion and sent a spell in Dolohov’s direction. Dolohov blocked it easily and leaped down from atop the bar. 

“Tell me where the McKinnons are or you can watch him die.”

“Don’t, Emmy, he’ll kill me anyway.”

Dolohov laughed. “The rumors are true! You are very smart for a Mudblood, Keeland. Crucio!”

The pain, this time, was worse. _If I live I’ll tell Gideon it’s like a Charlie-horse, but all over your body, and like your skin is on fire at the same time._ He could hear his own screams, and Emmeline’s but he couldn’t feel the glass grinding into his skin. 

The spell suddenly lifted and Walter was aware of blood trickling from his mouth and nose, and that his head was in Emmeline’s lap, but he couldn’t see. 

“We’re going to have a tough time moving him after. All that blood’s going to make him slippery,” said a voice that Walter didn’t recognize. 

“We’ll have her do it, or we’ll just burn him,” Dolohov replied. “You going to tell me where they are, doll, or you want me to finish him?”

“Please! I’m not secret keeper. I can’t tell you. I don’t know. Please don’t hurt him anymore.” 

“Boring!” Dolohov sang, and then the pain started again. 

~*~

Marlene found Emmeline sitting by the fire at headquarters. A cup of tea sat untouched by her elbow and she was staring at the fire with an expression of horror on her face, as if the homey light was showing her unspeakable things.

“Emmy,” Marlene whispered. Emmeline looked up but her expression didn’t change. Marlene crept closer, not wishing to startle her friend. “Oh, Emmy.” 

Up close Marlene could see that Emmeline’s hair and cloak were soaked with blood. Her wrists were red and raw where she had been bound. 

“Emmy did they hurt you? Are you hurt anywhere?” 

Emmeline seemed to shake herself and her eyes cleared a little. “Marly, how glad I am to see you.”

“You hurt, Em?”

“No, no not me. Walter.” 

“I know, love. They’re taking care of him now. Let’s get you cleaned up.” Marlene raised her wand to get rid of the worst of the mess but Emmeline flinched and held up her hands.

“Don’t. Don’t erase what they did. Don’t erase what they made me do.”

Marlene swallowed around the lump in her throat. She knelt on the rug at Emmeline’s feet and grasped her hands. “Made you do? Em, you didn’t do anything wrong.”

“I didn’t tell. I just…well…it would have been your whole family. It would have been you. I didn’t tell. I just let them hurt him.” Emmeline’s eyes spilled over and great sobs wracked her body. 

Marlene knelt up and flung her arms around her friend, not caring about the blood smearing onto her own cloak. “They would have done it anyway, Emmy. There was nothing you could do.”

They were meant to be words of comfort but Marlene let out a gasp of fear as soon as she spoke them. Everyone she loved was in terrible danger. She could put up protection spells. She could fight, but if any of them were caught, they were powerless. _I won’t be caught. I’ll die fighting first._

~*~

“How could you leave her sitting there like that?”

“She wouldn’t let me clean her up. I tried.”

“You should have done it anyway! She sat like that for hours!”

“I was busy, alright! My friend was dying. I had to get my brother, and you. Emmeline Vance’s hygiene was not number one on my priority list!”

Marlene bit off her next words. Fabian rarely got upset with her without good reason. She took a deep breath and let go of it slowly.

“I’m sorry, Fabe. You’re right. I’m just so…I needed to rage at someone, but you’re not the person I should be raging at.” 

Fabian slumped into a chair. He looked tired. He looked older. Marlene could see little trace of the boy who had teased her and wooed her throughout their school years. The person in front of her was a young man and Marlene had a sudden urge to erase all the times she had told him to grow up. She wished they were all in school again, bickering and flirting in the common room. 

“Remember when I got you your owl?”

Fabian smiled. “And I used him to send you notes in the middle of every class, just to annoy you, and McGonagall gave us both detentions for a week.”

“And you’d send me owls before bed. I’d have just seen you in the common room. I’d be undressing for bed and I’d hear him pecking at the window. It was such a nice way to end the day.” 

“I always wished I could go with him, fly up to your window, be with you again.”

“I always…” Marlene didn’t finish because the door to the study opened and Julian came sweeping in. 

“There you are. I’ve been so worried.” 

“Julian! Can you wait for me in the kitchen? I’ll be down in a minute.”

“No need,” Fabian said, rising to his feet. “I was just leaving.”

“Fabian, stay, we…”

“No,” Fabian interrupted, brushing past her. “I need to check on Gideon.” He hesitated a moment at the door. “I’ll send you an owl.” 

~*~

Walter’s face was pale and he scowled in his sleep. Gideon had heard much of Walter’s adventure from Emmeline and Lupin. Apparently Lupin, Black, and Mad-eye had showed up just in time to snatch Walter from the jaws of death. They had barely gotten away. 

He could hear Black moaning in the other room as Pomfrey mended his arm. She had given Walter a sleeping potion earlier. There was nothing to be done for him anymore. His cuts and bones were mended but sometimes, after undergoing the Cruciatus curse, people weren’t the same anymore. Dumbledore told him to be patient, to let Walter rest, and they’d see how he was when he woke. 

Gideon wondered if Walter would be much changed. Could Dolohov really raise his wand and kill the things in Walter that made Gideon love him? 

~*~

Lily Potter lay gasping and gasping for breath on the bed. “I want a gun. I want a bomb. I want to do it with my bare hands, Muggle style. There aren’t any curses or spells that will fix this, James! I was so in love with it. I loved my baby.”

In her speech was all the fierceness that James loved about Lily, but he had never seen her so defeated. It made him rage. He had failed, and mightily. He had failed to protect his pregnant bride and his unborn child. The nurse came with a sleeping potion for Lily and after a while James left to pace the waiting area. 

Remus was there. Alone. And for once James was thankful for the absence of Sirius. Sirius would have ignited his rage. Remus would give him reason and sound advice. He would talk to Remus. He would listen to his advice.

“The baby. Lost,” was all he managed in the end. And in the end Remus didn’t have any advice. In the end Remus was a gigantic tissue for James’s tears and a rock for him to lean on. 

~*~  
War was hours of terror that interrupted days of boredom. Gideon had barely left his own bedroom at The Burrow, where Walter was sleeping without pause, for nearly a week. He tried reading, or practicing spells, but his mind wouldn’t focus. Three times a day he would help Molly change Walter’s position in the bed and tidy him up. Mostly he just talked to Walter. 

“There’s evidence of a frog in the Amazon whose liver gives a wizard the power of a Metamorphmagus when it’s brewed with asphodel. It’s not permanent, of course, but it’d be a hell of lot more useful than polyjuice. We should mount an expedition after the war. I bet there’s all sorts of things over there that European wizards have no idea about.”

“Gideon?”

Gideon started in his chair and blushed.

“Fabian! You scared me. Make some noise when you walk, yeah?”

“You need to get out of this room, mate.”

Gideon shrugged. “What if he wakes up?”

“Alice is in the kitchen. She’ll send a Patronus if he so much as twitches a toenail.”

Gideon hesitated. “It’s a meeting, Gids. McGonagall’s running it. Dumbledore’s skived off somewhere and left her in charge. You know you’ve always nurtured a secret crush on McGonagall.” 

“Secret? I’ve never had a secret in my life, not with you around.”

Fabian smiled. “Get your cloak.”

~*~

“We weren’t without casualities. The Potters lost their baby. Gideon, Fabian, Dumbledore has a task for you.” 

Professor McGonagall looked stern as she gave her orders. Her chin was held high and her shoulders were set but her eyes betrayed her. Fabian wondered if she knew this about herself, about how her humaneness showed through to her students, even when she was trying to hide it. 

“It’s too soon, Professor,” Fabian whispered, nodding his head towards his brother. Attending a meeting was one thing but Gideon seemed too fragile yet for anything more than that. Fabian felt as if he was fifteen and trying to get out of detention.

“I agree with you, Mr. Prewett. And it’s Minerva now that you’re no longer my student. However, we are soldiers now and we must be ready whatever the cost.”

“It’s Fabian, Minerva, and if Dumbledore has orders I’ll fulfill them myself.”

“Shut the fuck up, Fabian.” Gideon said, pleased when he could see McGonagall flinch and restrain herself from calling him out on his language. “I’m ready. Walter’s just sleeping yet. I…I could use something to occupy my mind.”

“Just so,” said McGonagall, straightening her already straight robes. “There’s a street you’ll be guarding. Muggle families. Names are Wellfleet, Green, Duby, Granger, Harrison, Yates.”

“Why?” Fabian asked. 

“Well, I suppose Dumbledore has his reasons.”

“Yes, but…”

Gideon grabbed his wrist. “We’ll do it.”

~*~

Fabian fumed. It was senseless to be lurking on this street in a cold drizzle. It was uncomfortable and boring, and the task was made even more uncomfortable and boring by the presence of Julian Walsh. Walter had showed signs of waking and Gideon had skived off, leaving Julian to keep watch in his place. Over nothing.

“Dumbledore says there may be some action here.”

“Does he?”

“Did he tell you anymore about it? Why these families are important?”

“No.”

“Oh. Marlene says she heard a rumor there was a prophesy. A vague one but…I guess they all are, hey?”

“Perhaps.”

Fabian was being rude. He knew this and he knew he ought to stop and try, for Marlene’s sake, to get along with the fellow. But there was something about Julian that rubbed him the wrong way. Gideon would say that anyone who dated Marlene would rub him the wrong way. That may be true but Fabian was convinced there was something else. Something about Julian was wrong, almost creepy.

“Shall I pop to the pub to get us a bite to eat?”

“No, I’ve strict orders not to leave the post. Emmeline packed us sandwiches.” 

“Great girl, Emmeline. Awfully brave of her not to give up her secret. Even with Walter…”

“Pipe down! Don’t talk about it in public!”

Fabian dug through his knapsack and flung a sandwich at Julian with rather too much force.

“Sorry, you’re right. Wasn’t thinking.” 

They were silent while they ate. 

“Listen, I’ll just pop to the pub for some fags. Don’t tell Marlene. She thinks I’ve given up.”

“Right. I’ll call Mad-eye in to cover for you. No one is supposed to stand guard alone.”

“Mad-eye? No, don’t bother him. I’ll just be a moment.”

“He won’t mind,” Fabian lied. “He said he’s not busy today.”

“Why don’t you call Marlene? I’m sure she’d love to spend time with her old friend. She says she doesn’t get to see you enough.” Julian laughed. “I keep her rather busy.” 

“I won’t bother her. Mad-eye said he’s free.”

Julian frowned. “It can wait I suppose.” 

Fabian pulled his cloak tighter around himself. Down the street a young woman with curly hair left the Granger house. Fabian had done his homework in the week he’d been stationed here and felt he knew far too much about the inhabitants of this street. No one, as far as he could tell, had any connection to the magical world, except the Grangers. Twelve generations back a relative had been born a wizard. Fabian had to go to the massive magical library off the west coast of Ireland to find the connection. The Granger relation had lived and died uneventfully. 

These Grangers seemed to have no knowledge of this. They were five years married, both dentists, paid their bills on time, called their parents on Sunday evenings, and ate a lot of vegetables. From flipping through diaries and inspecting the trash Fabian also knew that they had been trying to have a baby for a while now, with no success. 

Babies. If Lily’s had survived he would have gone to Hogwarts with Molly’s brood. Perhaps it would have shared a dormitory with the baby Molly was carrying now. Fabian smiled. He couldn’t wait until Billy and Charlie and Percy started school. He’d send them owls and tell them all the secret passage ways and help them avoid detention. He’d listen to them moan about girls. His own children would look up to them.

His own children. Whenever he pictured his own children they had Marlene’s freckles. 

There was a loud crack that nearly made Fabian jump out of his skin. Lupin and Potter shuffled out from behind a large bush. 

“Go home and get some rest,” Lupin said. 

Fabian nodded and began to repack his bag. He slung it over his shoulder and turned to go. “James, I was sorry to hear…I’m sorry. How’s Lily?”

James looked older and Lupin stepped closer to him, as if Fabian was about to attack.

“Sorry, I’m sure you’re sick of people asking. And I’m sure she’s…Well, tell her that her friends are thinking of her…and you. If there’s anything you need…”

“Thanks Fabian. I don’t mind you asking. Send Lily an owl, will you? Just talk to her like an old school chum. Everyone tiptoes around it and she feels kind of lonely.” James didn’t look at Fabian as he recited this. His voice was dead. Fabian remembered that James had already lost his parents to this war, and now his baby. 

Fabian smiled and put his hand on James’s shoulder. “I will, and I’ll send Molly over to visit her.”

“Molly’s showing,” Lupin noted.

“Oh…I suppose…It’s just that she lost that baby once.”

James put his hand over Fabian’s. “Molly’s stopped by once a day since Lily’s been home.” James said this in a voice that was much more his own. Fabian looked into his eyes and saw the man he himself had always hoped to become. He had to swallow around the lump in his throat. 

“Has she? She never said. I haven’t been home much.”

“She’s a force of nature, your sister. We’ll grieve our little one. We’ll try again. And we’ll rid the world of this evil before it can poison another generation. “

Gideon had often complained that James didn’t understand the seriousness of this battle. That may have been true once, but James Potter was a changed man. It made Fabian’s heart ache to find him so.

~*~

“Horse on fire. Gideon. Charlie’s horse on fire.”

“Walter, wake up.”

“Gideon, horse on fire. Charlie’s horse.”

“Wake up, love. Nothing’s on fire.”

Walter opened his eyes. He stared blankly at Gideon. “Horse on fire, Gids. Put it out.”

“Hello, love. I’m here. You’re alright. You’re safe.”

“No, it’s not that. It’s not a horse. It’s a Charlie-horse and burning. All over. That’s what I was going to tell you. I thought you’d want to know what it felt like.” 

Gideon felt tears prick at his eyes. He swallowed and swallowed and held Walter’s hand. “You’re okay now.”

“I didn’t think to tell you I loved you. It was burning so bad. They hurt me so bad I forgot I loved you.”

Walter’s voice was raspy and low. He sounded and nearly looked like he had when he was twelve and had contracted dragon pox. Gideon reached for a water glass and held the straw to Walter’s lips. “I know you love me. I’ll remember for you.” Walter sucked eagerly at the water. “Let me get, Pomfrey. She’ll want to know you’re awake.”

Walter gripped Gideon’s hand tighter. “Emmeline.”

“She’s safe. You saved her life.”

“Black? Lupin?” Walter began to cough and couldn’t stop. Gideon guided the straw to his lips again and yelled for Madam Pomfrey. 

“Everyone’s safe, Walter. Everyone.” Gideon hoped that Walter would forgive him his lie. 

“I need to owl work. I’ll be sacked.”

“It’s taken care of. Don’t worry about anything just now.” 

Pomfrey came bustling in and tried to shoo Gideon out of the way but Gideon would not be shooed. He held on to Walter’s hand as if it was the only thing keeping him tied to this life. 

~*~  
Walter had started life poor. His father had died young and left him in the care of a well-meaning but sickly mother. She had tried her best, but being the only squib in a long line of wizards had left her unprepared to navigate either the Muggle or wizarding world. Walter remembered being cold and hungry and, at the height of his mother’s illness, begging for food in Diagon Alley at the age of six. 

A stately witch had stopped to toss a knut into his hat. She paused.

“Look at me, boy.”

Walter looked up at her though the cold rain fell into his eyes. The witch moved closer, shielding him with her umbrella. 

“You’re the spitting image of my husband. What’s your name, boy?”

“Keeland, Miss, Walter Keeland.”

“Get up. Get up!” When Walter didn’t move she dragged him to his feet by his collar. “I’m Betsy Keeland, your aunt. I married your mother’s brother. Nightmare of a man. He’s dead. Died last month. How’s your mother?”

“She’s not well, Miss.” 

“No? He never would let me have contact with her, your uncle. Happiest day of my life, when he died. You’ll take me to your mother now.” 

His aunt did a lot of cursing her late husband when she met Walter’s mother. She summoned healers and put food on the table and wood on the fire. When his mother died she was smiling.

“You’ll take care of my boy? I haven’t been much of a mother to him.”

“I haven’t been much of an aunt. I blame the beastly man I married. I will make it my life’s work to undo all the misery he’s caused.”

She did. Betsy Keeland plucked Walter from the Muggle slum he’d grown up in and moved him to her estate in the country. There was a grand manor house but his aunt preferred the gardener’s cottage.

“The house is too big. It smells of your uncle. We’ll live here and be quite happy. It reminds me of my grandmother’s house.”

They were happy. In the years before he left for Hogwarts his aunt schooled him in wizarding ways. She was an excellent potions brewer and delighted in herbology. The rafters of the house were always hung with sweet-smelling herbs and the garden was a place of peace. They had buried his mother there and his aunt coaxed the sweetest and most tender flowers to bloom around her headstone. 

“I won’t try not to cry,” Aunt Betsy had said on the day he left for Hogwarts. “I had to try not to cry every day I was married to your uncle. I’ll cry now. I’ll miss you. I hope you’ve forgiven me for neglecting you and your mother for so long. He would have killed me. It’s not an excuse, but hopefully I’ve been more good to you alive than dead.” 

Walter had buried his face in her neck and sobbed. 

“Let it all out. Perhaps we’ll manage a smile at the station.”

They had. His Aunt Betsy put on the brave smile that she had broken in during her bitter marriage. As the train pulled away Walter saw her drop her waving hand and dissolve into tears. A fierce looking lady, who Walter later learned was Frank Longbottom’s mom, put a hand on Aunt Betsy’s shoulder. The train rounded the curve and Walter looked upon her no more. 

His aunt disappeared that autumn, the first in a long line of inexplicable disappearances.


	3. Chapter 3

There were three girls holding hands. One was tall and dark. One was small and pale and freckled. One had hair the color of sunlight. He loved them all but he reached for the tall and dark girl first.

“I should have been quicker. I should have gotten you to my flat.”

“Walter, you did everything you could. It’s my fault. I failed you.”

“Don’t say that. You said that when we failed the Potion’s test. It wasn’t your fault.”

“It was too my fault.” She was crying but smiling. “I overslept and forgot the gilly weed. I thought your eyebrows would never grow back.”

“They did.” Walter gripped Emmeline’s hand and looked towards Lily and Marlene. He frowned. Lily was leaning heavily on Marlene and she was seemed paler and smaller than usual. 

“Thank you for Sirius and Lupin, Walter. James wouldn’t know what to do without them.”

“You’re sick.”

“I have been. I’m getting better.”

“What’s happened?”

“We’ll tell you when you’re stronger,” Marlene said.

“Is it James? Tell me, I’m just going to drive myself mad…well, even madder, with wondering.”

Marlene and Lily looked to each other for confirmation.

“I won’t be throwing up in your potted plants anytime soon,” Lily said.

“Lily!”

“Voldemort himself paid a visit to your flat. I’m…I’m afraid James and I destroyed a number of your possessions.” 

“Walter, your flat is…it’s gone,” Marlene said.

Walter let go of Emmeline’s hand and swallowed once or twice.

“Anything left?”

“I’m sorry, love. Gideon and Fabian went through it twice.”

Walter thought of his research, his notes and the ancient texts he’d borrowed from the ministry. He thought of his cat. 

“My aunt’s picture. That’s all I’d want.”

Marlene hung her head. “There was a fire.”

Walter let that sink in while he stared at the ceiling. Betsy was alive and well in his memory. He didn’t need a photograph. Everyone is born into some sort of family and he missed the family of his childhood but he’d created a new family. These were his sisters. He swallowed around the lump in his throat. 

“We’ll rise from those ashes. We’ll grow strong. We’ll make them pay,” he said hoarsely. 

Marlene nodded. “It’s time for a new order.”

“The Order of the Phoenix,” Lily said. 

~*~

Fabian had been on the early morning shift for several weeks now. His job as assistant coach for the Chudley Cannons didn’t require him to be awake at the crack of dawn. Marlene wasn’t working at all. Before the attack on her family she’d been training as a healer at St. Mungo’s. Now, it was too dangerous for her to be in a predictable place. 

He apparated close to headquarters, which was in a dingy flat in London this week. Dumbledore kept changing the location. Ted Tonks was sitting at the kitchen table with a cup of tea waiting for Fabian.

“Thanks, Ted. Quiet night?”

“It was. Amelia Bones and Remus are still on duty. Lupin looks like someone worked him over with the Cruciatus Curse but he says he’s fine. I wouldn’t dawdle here though. He could use some rest.” 

Fabian nodded. “I’ll just wait for my partner and head out. Get on home to your girls. How are they?”

“Grand. Dora’s been morphing kitten ears all week. It’s driving Andromeda round the twist.”

Fabian laughed. “Tell them hello for me.”

“Will do. Your partner’s Marlene, by the way. Pettigrew couldn’t make it.”

Ted dropped him wink and left the flat. Fabian sighed. He hadn’t seen Marlene since the night Walter and Emmeline had been attacked. He missed her but just being in her presence didn’t make him miss her less. He missed holding her, kissing her, smelling her hair. 

He took his tea to the window to wait. The sky was grey and pink in the east and a waning gibbous moon was setting in the west. It would be cold and damp on the streets today but the calendar told him that spring was coming. It was nearly the end of March. He longed for summer and soft, warm rain in the fields behind The Burrow. He’d spent an afternoon there with Marlene once when they were sixteen, just the two of them hidden in a copse of trees. 

He heard her footstep on the stair and her voice as she performed the entrance charms to the flat. 

“Good morning.”

She didn’t seem surprised to see him there. She’d always been steady and rational, a foil to Fabian’s own impulsive and mischievous ways. She looked tired and Fabian didn’t want to think about what she’d been doing late at night. 

“Fabian. Where have you been? I’ve missed you.”

“It’s only been a week, Marly.”

“Has it? Seems longer. Give us a hug.”

She stepped into his arms before he had time to think, to move, not that he really wanted to. She was soft and warm and still used the same shampoo. 

“When are you going to forgive me, Marls?”

She leaned back to look up at him. “Forgive you? For what? I was wrong to rave at you the other night. I thought you understood.”

Fabian shook his head. He could let her believe that’s what he’d been talking about. He could let it go. That’s what Gideon would tell him to do. He was too tired. He needed her. 

“When are you going to forgive me for kissing Andromeda Black? It was years ago. She’s married now for Merlin’s sake.”

Marlene dropped her head onto Fabian’s chest. “I forgave you a long time ago. I’m not that silly, but I’m with someone else now. We were young, Fabian. You were my first love and I was yours but it doesn’t mean we’re supposed to be together.”

“No? If it had been me instead of Walter would you be sitting at my bedside like Gideon’s sitting at his? Would you be able to leave me for Julian?”

“That’s not fair, Fabian. Of course I wouldn’t leave you. You’re my friend.”

“Walter’s your friend. I’m more than that. You know it.”

Marlene picked her head up. “Don’t do this now. We have to spend all day together and we need to be alert. And we’re nearly late. Let’s go.”

Fabian glanced at his watch. They had no time to spare and lateness was not tolerated in The Order. You were on time or you made your friends worry. Their friends already had enough to worry about. He stepped away from her though it hurt him to do so. 

“You’re right. Let’s go.” 

~*~

Sirius Black stopped to buy a book. It was James and Lily’s first anniversary. One was suppose to give paper for a first anniversary. He’d been their best man. He had to get something. His original gift had been a photo album for baby pictures and some children’s books for the little one, Beedle the Bard and Winnie the Pooh and Peter Rabbit. Those wouldn’t be any good now. 

He stood in the shop and looked around, feeling vastly uninspired. He wished he had thought to bring Remus. Remus wouldn’t have the money but he’d have the perfect idea for a gift. Sirius would buy it and put Remus’s name on it too. After browsing through romance novels and mystery stories Sirius asked the shopkeeper for help. He left with an anthology of poetry.

In the street he opened it to the middle and read the first thing that caught his eye.

_Fear no more the heat of the sun  
Nor furious winter’s rages  
Thou, thou worldly task hast done  
Hast gone home and taken your wages  
Golden lads and girls all must  
As chimney sweepers  
Come to dust._

It could be comforting, Sirius supposed. One was safe from all of winter’s rages in the grave. Fuck’s sake, would it be too much to ask that the child be given one day to walk in the sun? To feel the breeze? To feel the stinging snow and decide for himself whether he hated it or delighted in it? 

Sirius dumped the book in the bin. He’d buy his friends something outrageously expensive and impersonal. Something that wouldn’t remind them at all about love, or how much it hurt.

~*~  
It was a small dinner. Lily only wanted their closest friends. She didn’t want her and James to be alone with their grief for another evening. A year ago they were celebrating their wedding. They’d been so happy. They’d danced and drank till dawn. This celebration would be more subdued, but it would be a celebration. They deserved that. Love deserved that.

Sirius was early and had a fake smile plastered on his face. Remus was so late that they started dinner without him. Sirius laughed overmuch and kept glancing at Remus’s empty chair. Peter was too distracted to hold a normal conversation. Marlene and Emmeline looked tense. Alice and Frank saved the day, drawing forth mirthful memories of their school days, asking everyone to imagine what sort of animal they would transform into if they could, and wondering if this would be the same animal as their patronus. 

Still, it was a farce. It was like they were ghosts only pretending to be alive. 

Remus arrived as Alice started to clear the table. He rushed to kiss Lily’s cheek.

“I’m so sorry.”

“We were just worried, Remus. I’ve kept a plate warm for you. Let me…”

“No, thank you, Lily. I…there’s been…I need to talk to Sirius.”

Lily went pale. “Tell us, Remus. No, you’re not ruining the party. It was a silly idea. Thank you all for trying but…tell us.”

Remus hesitated and looked to James for assurance. James nodded his head.

“Perhaps a stiff drink? All around?”

James got up to fetch the whiskey. Lily noted how everyone seemed to sink back into their chairs and relax. The façade dropped. They didn’t have to pretend to be at ease. They were waiting for terrible news. This was their normal. 

Emmeline leaned her head on Marlene’s shoulder. Sirius scowled into his drink. James looked alert and ready for action. Peter shook himself out his reverie and downed his whiskey in one go. Gideon and Fabian were having a silent twin conversation by staring at each other. Edgar and Bridget Bones fidgeted in their chairs. Alice and Frank were holding hands and smiling grimly. Walter was humming to himself. Julian was looking dour. Remus was sweating.

“It’s Regalus,” he said at last. “Killed. I’m sorry, Sirius. It would appear that Voldemort did it himself. It seems he tried to…switch sides. I’m sorry.”

Remus looked only at Sirius but Sirius wouldn’t look at anyone. There was a long, frozen silence that stretched and stretched until Lily felt that she would scream just to set everyone in motion again.

Finally, Sirius picked up his drink and tossed it down his throat. 

“Taken thou wages,” he murmured. He laughed a short, hollow laugh, pushed back his chair, and left the room.

James stood up. “I’ll…go.”

Alice began to cry and Marlene drew Fabian aside to whisper urgently. Emmeline took Walter’s hands in her own and talked softly to him. Gideon stood and paced the room like a caged thing. Lily sat staring at Remus.

“He bought us a house. He bought us a fucking house, Remus. In Godric’s Hollow. He said that James’s family is from there and that James’s family made him strong. He gave us a painting of it. He said, ‘Paper for your first anniversary.’”

Remus stared back at her. It was the only time, in all the grief that followed, that neither of them pretended. 

“This won’t end well, Lily. We’ve had so much happiness. We have such good friends. It’s coming undone.”

Lily sometimes wondered, after James and Sirius started to suspect Remus if he’d been trying to tell her then. She always dismissed it. She’d go to her grave believing in Remus’s loyalty. 

Lily had been so intent on her conversation that she barely noticed that Walter’s voice had been growing louder and louder.

“Walter, please calm down. Let me get you a drink,” Emmeline said. Walter stood abruptly, knocking over his chair and sending his open hand flying across Emmeline’s face. Everyone was out of their chairs at once. Gideon and Fabian grabbed Walter’s arms. He struggled and spit at them until Edgar cast a stunning spell and then he hung limply between the brothers’ arms. 

“Emmeline, are you okay?” Gideon asked. 

“I’m fine,” she said, though she was shaking. “He got upset. He wasn’t himself. He didn’t mean to. He was remembering. He was remembering what they did to him.”

Gideon was pale. Fabian hoisted Walter over his shoulder. “Come on, Gids. Let’s get him home.”

“Don’t let him…tell him I’m not angry when he wakes, will you?”

“You’ve every right to be angry,” Fabian said. He adjusted Walter’s weight on his shoulder and stepped into the fire as Edgar threw the Floo Powder onto it. 

Gideon just nodded. He opened his mouth as if to speak, closed it again, and squeezed his eyes shut. “He’s not right. He’s not himself. Em…I know he wouldn’t….”

“He’s already proven that he would die rather than hurt me, Gideon. No one needs to do that more than once.” Gideon nodded again, threw a handful of Floo Powder into the fire, and silently followed Fabian from the room.

~*~

Walter woke groggy and disoriented. 

“Where am I?”

“The Burrow.”

“How did I get here?” 

“Fabian carried you.”

“Did I drink too much?”

“No, Edgar hit you with a stunning spell. Don’t you remember?”

Walter closed his eyes to concentrate and try to ease his headache. He remembered the news of Regulus and he remembered trying not picture it in his mind, trying not to feel the pain that Regulus must have felt. Emmeline had been holding his hands and trying…

His eyes flew open.

“I…I didn’t…Where’s Emmeline? Where’re my trousers? I’ve got to apologize.”

Gideon pushed him back onto the pillows firmly. “She’s fine, Walter. She said you weren’t to be allowed to beat yourself up over it. Mind, she didn’t say I couldn’t.”

Walter closed his eyes again and tears leaked out from under his lashes. “Fuck, I’m a mess, Gids. I could see them over me, just…hurting. And I couldn’t do anything. I couldn’t make it stop. If I could have moved I would have killed myself just to make it stop. And now I feel it in my sleep, and I’m scared all the time. I’m such a fucking coward.”

“Don’t say that,” Gideon said gruffly. “Don’t ever say that. You saved Emmeline’s life and probably Black’s and Lupin’s and the McKinnons’ too. You’re a hero, Walter. Anyone would be shaken up after what they did to you.”

Walter didn’t answer. He turned his face away from away from Gideon and wouldn’t speak. After a while Gideon gave up trying to reason with him and curled up beside him instead. He stayed there until Walter fell asleep.

~*~  
Gideon went back to work. It didn’t really seem to matter where he was. He was at home listening to Walter scream and plead in his sleep, or watching him twitch and jump at stray breezes during the day, or he keeping watch for terrors to emerge on a quiet street, or he was at work, taking dictation and sending owls for his nightmare of a boss. 

She was an over-eager career woman, intent on climbing the ladder of success within the Ministry. If Gideon could have spared the energy he would have hated her. As it was, he did the minimum that was required of him and called it a day.

“You’re being wasted here, lad.” Mad-Eye had stopped by for one of his pep talks. “You can’t like working for Umbridge. Come work with us. We’ll train you up to fight dark wizards. You’d like that.”

“Molly would cut off my balls.”

“Don’t tell her. Come on, you don’t want to push paper for the rest of your life.”

“I’ll think about it, Al.” Gideon liked calling Mad-Eye by this nickname. It got him to go away. Gideon hated his job but becoming an Auror would mean taking on the business of war full time. Gideon lived with night terrors and keeping watch in the freezing rain. After that, working for Dolores Umbridge felt like a holiday. 

~*~

Gideon woke before dawn and slid soundlessly from the room. He crept down the stairs and eased into the garden. He pulled out his wand and sent his patronus, a sleek mink, out into the darkness. He lit a cigarette while he waited. He loved his sister’s home. He loved the little shoes he tripped over on the stairs and the laughter and absurdity of little children prattling. He loved the awkward house and the fields spread out around it. There was a peace here, a magic of Molly and Arthur’s making. There had to be something magical about making a place a home. 

The sky was turning gray in the east when a loud crack beyond the hedge told him that Marlene hadn’t been able to sleep either. She picked her way along the path, looking pale and delicate in her white night clothes. 

“I’ve just got Emmeline to sleep. She…oh Merlin…it’s all my fault. I never should have asked her to be secret keeper.”

“I would have done it,” Gideon said. “I’ll do it now.”

“I don’t want anyone to do it. I can’t ask it of anyone. I’m not more important than any of you.”

“That’s not why you did it, Marlene. It’s your family. They’re important. Without your father’s influence at the ministry…”

“That’s not more important than your life! Or Emmeline’s! Or Fabian’s! Or whoever else we might choose to sacrifice!”

“This war is more important than any of our lives.”

Marlene turned her tear-stained face to the setting moon. “Don’t say that. Oh! Don’t say that. It makes me feel so small and afraid.” Gideon knew that he was only one who got to see Marlene like this. Even Fabian thought she was entirely unflappable. 

“It’s only because it’s dark. You’ll be back to yourself in the morning.”

“Do you know what they did to her?”

Gideon paused. Talking of death seemed much safer ground. Death seemed to have a clean, safe ending. 

“They raped her, Gideon. Not just once. They…”

“Stop. Please stop.”

“She miscarried tonight. She was screaming with grief. And she didn’t know if she was sad or angry or both and right before she fell asleep…” Marlene paused to wipe her nose and streaming eyes on the back of her hand. Gideon realized that he had his hands over his ears but he could still hear everyone of her fiercely whispered words. “Right before she fell asleep, she was so weary with pain and sorrow, or else she wouldn’t have said, and I’ll kill you Gideon Prewett if you ever repeat it. She said she didn’t know whose it was, the baby, theirs or…or yours…or Walter’s.”

Gideon let his hands fall to his side. He stood for many moments looking at the sky flushing pink in the east. Finally he turned to look at his friend. Marlene was holding onto the hedge for support and rubbing her cold, bare feet in turns up her calves to keep them warm. 

“We should get you inside.”

“Did you hear me?”

“I did. I beg you not to tell Walter. Not until he’s stronger at least.”

“I shouldn’t have told you.” 

“It’s just that she always loved him. Since we were kids. And we’d had too much to drink one night. It was the night of my mother’s memorial service. And then… it seemed like a way to be safely reckless and much loved and comforted for all of us.” 

“She had more to risk than you. It wasn’t safe for her! Why do men always forget that?”

Gideon sat on a low stone wall and scrubbed his hands through his hair. “She’s mistaken. It couldn’t have been mine. We never…I never…Fuck! You can’t tell Walter.” Gideon buried his face into his knees and his back heaved with his sobs. 

Marlene had seen Gideon when he was a scared little boy getting detention. She’s seen him struggle with his fear at the coming war. She’d held his hand at his mother’s funeral but she had never seen him broken like this. She had never been more furious with him. 

She let go of the hedge and sank to the grass. Tears were streaming down her face but the most important thing right then was that her body was screaming that her feet were freezing. 

“Gideon, you are a whore. And I am freezing to death in front of you. Get off your sorry arse and get me inside.” 

Gideon picked his tear-stained face off his lap to gaze at her in wounded surprise. Marlene sniffed and hiccupped and smiled. 

Gideon wiped his nose on his sleeve. He hesitated a moment before crossing to her and picking her up off the ground. 

“Haven’t you ever heard of slippers? God, I love you. You’re the reason I was born gay, so I wouldn’t kill my own brother vying for your love. “

“I won’t have anything to do with either of you. You’re both vile.”

Gideon kissed her ear, which was all he could reach to kiss. “I know. The kitchen light’s on. Molly’s up. She probably has a basin of warm water for your feet and a cup of tea ready.” 

Gideon could feel the collar of his shirt becoming wet with her tears as he carried his friend to the house. “How did Molly ever end up with brothers like you? She’s a saint. She’s so fucking normal. I like normal.” 

Molly pulled the door open just as Gideon reached it and he set Marlene down in a chair in front of the fire. He sat down himself and stared at the flames while Molly fussed over Marlene. When Marlene had stopped shivering Molly opened the door to Fabian’s room which was just off the kitchen. Gideon heard his brother grunt sleepily, saw Marlene pull back the covers to his bed in the early morning light and climb in before Molly shut the door. 

Molly gathered the tea cups into the sink and set them to wash. She picked things up and put them down again to seem busy. Gideon watched her and waited. Finally, she dried her hands on her apron and sat in Marlene’s vacant chair at the fire. 

“You’ve been doing something you’re not proud of. You’re too involved in this war.”

“You’re either involved in a war or you’re not. I’ve chosen my side. Have you?” Gideon regretted the words as he was speaking them. But Molly’s calm answer only enraged him further.

“You’re upset, otherwise you would notice that I let you bring Walter, a wanted man, into to my home where I’m raising three young children, to convalesce.” 

“Wanted for saving a young woman’s life! And he’s not just some wanted man, Molly. You wouldn’t throw it in my face if Fabian brought Marlene here if she needed help!” 

“I’m pointing out that I’ve clearly chosen my side! I’ve acted on it! Yet you question me!”

Gideon rose from his chair and crossed to the window to stare at the rising sun. He clenched his fingers around the edge of the counter and let out a deep breath. 

“Forgive me. I know, I’m…I don’t know what I am, Molly.” 

“You’re upset. I know that.” Molly eased herself out of her chair. It took some effort with her heavy belly. She crossed the room and placed a hand on Gideon’s shoulder. “War has so many stresses, and when we try to escape those stresses, we can sometimes do things we wouldn’t under other circumstances.” 

“I’d love Walter regardless. You must face that. And if I’d never met him I still wouldn’t be giving you a host of nieces and nephews to play with.”

Molly grabbed his chin roughly. “Look at me! I don’t care if you take a liking to fucking trolls. You’re my little brother. I’ve loved you since the day you were born and unless you turn sides I’ll love you until I’m safe in my grave. It’s not about what you can or cannot give me. I love you. Do you understand?”

Gideon gazed into his sister’s eyes for a moment. He didn’t know whether to laugh or cry. In the end he settled for a little of both.

“Fucking arse-buggering hell, Molly. I’ve never heard you swear before.” 

Molly stepped back and smoothed down her apron. “I’ll leave the arse-buggering to you. Don’t tell Arthur, but I know what you see in him. Poor, brilliant, scattered soul. Attractive in a disheveled sort of way.” 

“He’s had a tough road.”

“Yes. Oh!” Molly grabbed her belly and Gideon put a steadying hand on her arm. 

“Are you okay?”

“Oh! The kicking! You’d think there was a war in there! The healer says it’s twins. Arthur wants to go to a Muggle hospital and find out the sex of them. Can you imagine? No. I thought I’d name them Fiona and Gretel, you know, F and G.” 

“What if they’re boys?”

“I couldn’t have that many boys.”

“You might.”

“I thought I’d let you and Fabian choose. We’ll wait and see, shall we?” 

~*~

The attack on Frank and Alice Longbottom marked a turning point in the way The Order of the Phoenix thought about the war. The Longbottoms, it was generally agreed, were nice and decent people, perhaps even to a fault. Their many friends called them first when they needed advice or a shoulder to cry on. If you were wallowing Frank would take you out and drink just enough whiskey with you so didn’t feel as if you were drinking alone, but not so much that he couldn’t carry you home afterwards. Alice would make you tea and listen, and when you left you felt as if the whole world couldn’t be against you if the Longbottoms were on your side. 

No one had ever seen them angry or anywhere in the neighborhood of fierce. Of course, no one had ever shown up at breakfast on a sunny spring morning with muddy boots and called Frank’s wife an insulting name. No one had trampled mud into Alice’s carpet, and silenced her dog’s, Ruffles, barking with a killing curse. The Longbottoms had been unleashed and at the end of short but fierce battle in the breakfast room there were four Death Eaters dead on the muddy carpet. 

Frank and Alice Longbottom were the first to have to kill in order to escape with their lives. Frank felt some regret over this. 

“I won’t feel bad about it,” Alice said, pulling another tissue from the box, wiping her face, and adding it to the growing heap on the table. “I know Ruffles was a dog, but I loved him! And it wouldn’t have mattered to those monsters if he had been a dog, or a roach, or a child. I killed three of them, you know. Frank killed the last one to save me. And he keeps prattling on about the waste of human life. I don’t mind so much. They weren’t acting like humans.” 

Marlene winced and put a comforting hand on Alice’s arm. “You had to do it to survive, Alice. I would have done the same.” 

“They made a murderer of me!”

“It was self defense,” Fabian said. 

“I’d kill them in cold-blood,” Walter offered. He laughed and made the sound of an explosion. He’d been acting odd of late and couldn’t be left alone. Fabian shot him a warning glare. 

Alice stiffened. “He was there. The one who hurt Walter and raped Emmeline. The one who made her miscarry. Dolohov. I wish I had killed him. He got away.” 

Fabian went white. “What? Raped Emmeline?” 

Marlene was out of her chair. “Fabian, take Walter for a walk.”

Fabian just stared at her. “You knew? You didn’t tell me?” 

Marlene was frantic. Walter had stopped his incessant drumming of the table and was sitting with his mouth hanging open. 

Walter had been one person when he was crawling on his hands and knees over broken glass behind the bar of the Green Dragon. He had been out to avenge his aunt, to keep his friends safe. He had changed when he’d seen Emmeline’s torn clothing. He had grown fiercer. He was a lion. And then the curse had hit him and he was a lion with truck on top of him. He had been given pause to breathe. His head had been in Emmeline’s lap. He was hurt but furious. When the curse hit him again he was nothing. He was a ball of brightly burning pain and when he came to again he was a lion that had been run over during an earthquake, followed by a tsunami, and set on fire. All he could do was mew like a frightened kitten. He had woken to his friends, to a safe haven. It was the only thing keeping him sane. 

Walter was sure the baby had been his. He just knew it. And he was sure that Emmeline did as well. He performed magic then that no one knew or understood. He sat in his chair and rocked and keened and his wrists started to bleed. 

~*~  
Remus spread his notes across the table. 

“I think they’re throwing the Ending Curse.”

“The Ending Curse? I’ve never heard of it,” Peter said.

“That’s because your family hasn’t dabbled in the Dark Arts for centuries,” Sirius answered.

“What it does, in theory,” Remus explained, “It’s a spell used on women. It ends any pregnancies and ends the possibility of future pregnancies.”

James blanched and Remus hurried on with his explanation. “As Sirius said, it’s been around for centuries. It’s outlawed, of course, but few people remember it because now there’s a cure, a potion. So it’s not as damaging as it once was. It won’t help a baby that is currently being carried but it will cure infertility.” 

The color came back to James’ face. Sirius stood. “You have the recipe for the potion?”

“I do. It’s tricky but Lily was always a dab hand at potions.” James and Sirius smiled. Peter looked spooked. “It means,” Remus said, “That if there is a pregnancy it has to be well hidden. And that woman must avoid contact with the enemy at all cost. Also, I think they cast the spell at any woman. So we’ll have to give all the girls a dose if they’ve come in contact with the Death Eaters.” 

“So, all of them. Emmeline, Marlene, Bridget, Lily, Alice…” Sirius paced the room, looking furious. But a spark was growing in James’ eyes that Remus hadn’t seen there in a while. It was a spark that often foretold a prank. 

“Let’s give it to them all at once. Let’s make a party of it. We’ll call it a victory. The Battle of the Babies.” 

Sirius stopped pacing and his face grew uncharacteristically soft as he looked at James. 

“How do you do that? How do you find the joy in everything? Even the darkest things?” 

“I’ve had loads of practice finding the joy in you, oh Darkest of Dark Things.” 

Peter shivered but Remus lowered his head. It was hard to look directly at so much love. It was like looking at the sun. It brought tears to his eyes.


	4. Chapter 4

Fabian pointed his wand at the house and cast three Cheering Spells. The door opened and Lily put a kiss on each of their cheeks as they entered. Her cheeks were rosy and her hair was disheveled in a delightful way. Gideon blushed. 

“We’re all here. Hurry up! The potion’s almost ready. Where’s Walter?” 

Gideon shook his head. “Noise upsets him.” He’d have to move Walter soon. He couldn’t be in a house with three young children. It wasn’t fair to ask Molly’s family to tiptoe around them and the children simply couldn’t. Gideon’s worries vanished as he stepped inside the Cheering Charms though. He kissed Lily back and took the drink that Marlene held out to him. 

They gathered around the fire where the potion was brewing. “It’s supposed to make you a little bit uninhibited,” Lily announced. “Very cheerful at first and then a bit indiscrete. So, as agreed, the doors will be sealed until the potion wears off. This is your last chance to leave.” 

No one moved. 

Lily began ladling the potion into goblets. They all took a glass, even the men. It wouldn’t benefit them in any way but it wouldn’t harm them either, aside from a little indiscretion. They stood there for a moment and despite the Cheering Spells became somber. 

James was the first to raise his glass. “To our children who should have been. Let’s have a moment of silence, shall we?” They all bowed their heads, except Gideon. Gideon looked around at this circle of friends. James and Lily. Alice and Frank. Emmeline. Peter. Marlene. Kingsly. Fabian. Ted Tonks. Amelia, Edgar and Bridget Bones. Remus and Sirus. And, oddly, Minerva McGonagall. All these souls praying earnestly for the hope of a better tomorrow. 

Gideon raised his glass after a time and broke the silence. He spoke quietly. 

“When I fight I’ll fight for Billy and Charlie and Percy and for the unborn twins. I’ll fight for you and the children that are only twinkles in the eyes I love so much. I’ll fight because the children we have lost had no voice, no time to fight. I’ll fight because Walter can’t bear loud noises, even if they’re noises of joy. I’ll fight for my mother, who can’t fight anymore. I’ll fight because I love you.” 

Emmeline was crying and Lily was clutching her belly.

“But tonight, tonight I won’t fight. I’m among friends. The very best of friends. Tonight I will wallow in the joy of being among you. And if we’re ever parted I will think of this night. A night when we were battered but kept each other whole and safe and much loved. Go forth and procreate.” 

There was a shout of joy and glasses where raised. That shout echoed down the whole of Gideon’s life. It was rowdy and joyful and filled with life. Fabian looked at him across the room. His eyes were lit with joy. Gideon held the gaze. His brother. He had struggled and cuddled with him since the womb. He had loved and hated his brother as he loved and hated himself. He understood Fabian more than he understood anyone, even Walter. He understood that Fabian was comforted, and joyous, and terrified. And for a moment he understood that this war wouldn’t end well for either of them and that he’d be looking into those eyes as the light went out of them. 

Fabian crossed the room and stood in front of him. He didn’t say anything. Gideon had called his brother many names over the years. He had riddled him with adjectives but _wise_ was never one of them. That’s how he looked though, wise. 

“You know something.”

“I know you should enjoy this night.”

“You always say that. How? What do you know? You’ve never kept a secret from me.”

“I’ve always kept a secret from you. It’s not time to tell it yet. Just enjoy the night. Love hard, little brother.”

Fabian walked away and Gideon didn’t go after him. He was afraid to.

Later , the rain streamed down the windows and the fire radiated warmth into the raw night. Gideon sank into a cushy armchair next to McGonagall. 

“You’re wondering why I’m here.”

Gideon nodded. “As a child you seemed to me so austere. It’s hard to picture you outside the role of my teacher.”

McGonagall nodded. “That’s how it should be when you are my student. You’re an adult now, though I don’t deny I want to give you and your brother detention on occasion.”

Gideon smiled, “I don’t doubt we deserve it.”

“No. You’ve grown into fine young men. Men Gryffindor house is proud of. You’ve grown into the sort of men I imagined my son would have grown to be.”

“Professor! I didn’t…”

“He was just a babe. Just a wee little thing. I took him to Diagon Ally to show him off. I should have known better. Those were dark times. There was a duel in the street and a curse rebounded. My husband was holding him. They were both of them killed. It was a horror, of course. I came tonight to remind myself that at least I got to hold him. I was lucky. For six months I got to hold and love my child. Lily and Emmeline weren’t so lucky. Nor was James. Or you.”

Gideon was astounded at the way gossip traveled. He blushed. “The baby wasn’t mine, Professor. I assure you.”

McGonagall laid her hand on his knee. “I have known many children, Gideon. Only one shared my blood but I have called many children my own. I have lost my own blood and I assure you there are other bonds that are felt just as keenly. It hurts just as much when they go.” 

Gideon wanted so badly to brush this aside, to laugh at his old professor, but he found his hand so unsteady that he had to put down his drink. His former head of house put her arm around his shoulder and drew his head to her shoulder.

“It was Walter’s and Emmeline’s. I know it. I would have loved it. I do love it. I love the thought of it. I hate that it was murdered before I could love the thought of it with hope.”

McGonagall brushed Gideon’s hair from his forehead. “You were one of the ones I called my own. I did so love the devil in you. I loved that you could rise above it when the occasion demanded it. Do you think your mother would mind?” 

“No, Professor. I think she’d be proud of me.” 

McGonagall leaned in closer to whisper into Gideon’s ear. “Perhaps it’s the potion, I’m being indiscreet, but it’s my own secret. He wasn’t my husband. No great scandal today, perhaps, but at the time I was considered quite the harlot.” There was a mischievous smile on the professor’s lips as she leaned back in her chair. “I’ve gotten quite used to lying about it. He would be pleased. He had the devil in him too.” 

Fabian cornered Marlene in the kitchen.

“Julian’s not here.”

“No. He had another engagement.”

“Aren’t you afraid you might reveal your true feelings about me?” 

“No, you know my true feelings about you.”

“Do I?”

“You’re my friend, one of my oldest and dearest friends and if you keep it up I won’t speak to you for the rest of the night.”

“You wouldn’t. You love me too much.”

Marlene took out her wand and pointed it at his face. “Get out of my way.” 

Fabian stepped aside. The Bones siblings were laughing at him. Fabian sauntered over and put his arm around Edgar. 

“Edgar, mate, how’s the wife? Home with the kids? Did you ever tell your lovely sisters about the time you woke up naked in Professor Kettleburn’s office?” 

~*~

In the morning James walked around quietly, collecting dirty dishes and setting them to wash in the sink. The sun would rise soon and he’d go to village and get some pastries for breakfast. He went to his study to find his change purse. Sirius was sitting at his desk, staring out the window. Remus was asleep on the floor, using Sirius’s rumpled jacket as a pillow. 

James shuffled his feet awkwardly. 

“Morning, Jamie.”

“Hello, Sirius.”

“I told him not to come. He has too many secrets.”

“He only told Lily. She didn’t say anything. She won’t say anything. I promise. It will be okay.” 

Sirius nodded at this and turned to face James. “You okay? With the other thing, I mean?” Sirius nodded towards Remus.

James let out a huff of laughter. “Yeah, mate. I’m okay. Just a little surprised, is all. Aren’t you constantly tripping over your own feet trying to impress McKinnon?”

Sirius shrugged. “She’s gorgeous. I’d be dead if I didn’t notice. But it’s just play. It’s really him. I just…I…” 

James smiled. “No need to say it. Come to the village with me. This lot will need sustenance when they wake. Sharing secrets is a hungry business.”

When they returned from the shops everyone was awake and drinking tea. Fabian was mercilessly taking the piss out of Edgar and Gideon, who kept jinxing Fabian’s trousers so that they fell about his ankles. Remus was watching them with quiet amusement. 

Sirius bounded across the room like an over-eager puppy and shoved his way into Remus’s chair. Fabian looked over at them, holding his wand in one hand and the top of his trousers in the other.

“Too soon to joke about? Are you feeling sensitive?”

Sirius growled. James winced, it was a miracle that all of England didn’t know that Sirius was a gay animagus with a werewolf boyfriend. They really needed to keep some of their secrets. 

“Yes, Fabian, do go fuck yourself,” Remus said. Fabian was so surprised at this burst of vulgarity from Lupin that he dropped his pants. Edgar fired another spell and Fabian’s boxer shorts slipped on his hips. Lily let out a girlish scream.

“Keep it under wraps, gentleman. There’re ladies present.”

“Yes,” Fabian agreed. “Sirius is here. He’s delicate.”

Sirius started throwing Lily’s sofa pillows and a lamp was knocked over. 

Then the owl flew out of the fireplace carrying a copy of the Daily Prophet. 

_Subjected to the Cruciatus Curse in front of their parents, the Wetherby brothers, ages twelve and seven, were then put under the Imperio Curse and made to torture their parents. They were released from the spell at intervals to survey their parents’ state, before being cursed again to renew the torture. After several days the family was begging for death and the torturers obliged._

_Our source, who chooses to remain anonymous, was hidden in the house during this time. He says that Robert Wetherby, the eldest child, was the last alive. Robert left us with these words: “I was given dreams that have turned into nightmares. Is this what you promised me? Deliver yourselves from evil.”_

_Robert had just completed his first year at Hogwarts. His brother, Eamon, had the talent to enroll in several years. Their parents were Muggles._

~*~

If there was a history written about the Muggle-born wizards it would be filled with the rendering of families. For the Muggle-born the gift of magic was also a curse. It led their families to live a life of secrecy, or it led to memory spells, or to pretended forgetfulness. The magical community had put up walls to protect them and for the Muggle-born those walls often separated them from their families.

This fate would have befallen Emmeline if it had not been for her sister. Esther had gotten pregnant at the age of sixteen, when Emmeline was eleven. This had embittered their father, but all might have been smoothed over if Emmeline’s letter from Hogwarts had not arrived shortly after the news of the pregnancy was announced. Their father had turned his back on both of them, had left them both alone in strange new worlds with no one but each other to cling to. Emmeline struggled to adjust to life in a magical boarding school, while Esther contended with an infant. There was delight and despair in both arenas and the sisters had grown closer together.

Every once in a while their mother would meet with them in secret. She delighted in her grandson, but would not stand up to her husband. Emmeline would often wonder where Esther and she had gotten their strength from. She supposed they had gotten it from each other. 

But it had been weeks since she had seen her sister. She had wanted to run to her after the Death Eaters had injured her, but shame had kept her away. Then, after the miscarriage, she feared she would be eaten alive by jealousy and guilt when she looked at her nephew. That was behind her now. The miscarriage wasn’t her fault. The rape wasn’t her fault. She could have more children. When she was ready.

It didn’t make the errand any easier.

Griffin, now ten, had retired to the backyard to play with the presents his aunt had brought him. Esther poured tea. 

“Essie, you have to leave here.”

Esther didn’t pause as she poured out the hot water. Her face remained impassive. “I always knew you would tell me that one day.” 

Emmeline knew that Esther was firmly a Muggle, she hadn’t been admitted to Hogwarts, but Esther had often had flashes of predicting the unknowable. 

“There might be a war. There’s the beginnings of a war. They might target you. Because of me.”

Esther took her time wringing out her tea bag and adding sugar and cream. She raised her mug and took a sip. 

“I’d thought I’d lost you. You haven’t called for three months. I don’t have a bleeding pigeon, you know. Can’t you get a mobile?”

“Owl,” Emmeline corrected.

“Owl, penguin, albatross. You left me without word. You left me with Griffin’s questions about his Auntie Emmy. You left me without answers.”

Emmeline looked down into her tea. She didn’t know how to explain and she couldn’t blame her sister for her anger.

“They hurt you. Whoever they are. You’ve been hurt.”

Emmeline did not want to cry, but the tears spilled out, salting her tea. “It’s why you have to leave. It’s why I stayed away. It’s why I shouldn’t be here. I’m endangering you with my presence, but I had to warn you. I had to see you again.”

Esther stood and grabbed Emmeline’s wrist to drag her over to the sofa. There, Emmeline was surrounded by all of her sister’s arms and legs and tears. Emmeline had built another family on the other side of the magical wall. She had Marlene and Gideon and Fabian and Walter. She had professors and friends and lovers and comrades in arms. She didn’t have her sister though. She didn’t have her blood. She would never be this comforted on the other side of the wall. 

“He’s like you. He came to me, said he mended a dish that he’d broken without glue. He said he didn’t mean to. He said it was almost like magic. He makes his toy planes fly, really fly. Tell me it’s safe for him. Tell me if I have to give you up that you’ll at least make it safe for him.” 

Emmeline picked her head up from her sister’s shoulder to look out the window into the back garden. There was Griffin, surrounded by toy planes and pinecones. The planes and cones were at war, they were spinning gleefully about her nephew’s head. He was smiling. He was smiling with the innocence of those who had never felt war. Emmeline carried that picture in her mind through the darkest days of her existence. She would see that picture unchanged. 

She promised. 

~*~

“I’ve said goodbye to them. I held that little boy when he was fifteen minutes old and I said goodbye to him. I can’t do it again. I’ve no one else to ask. Walter’s not well and Gideon can’t leave him. I don’t have any family left but you.”

“We’ll do it. We’ll do whatever you want.”

For once, Marlene didn’t mind that Fabian was speaking for her. He knew her. He knew what she would answer. 

“New England. My sister wants to live by the sea. Contact the American wizarding school. Confund or spell whatever , whoever, you need to. Get her a good job and a nice flat. I don’t care about the ethics in this. I don’t care about Muggle relations. This is Muggle relations. Do whatever the fuck you need to do.” 

Fabian nodded. Marlene looked out the window into the dark until she was sure she wouldn’t cry. “I’ll take care of them as I would take care of you.” 

~*~

Boston was the nearest long-distance apparition point from Iceland. It was by the sea but Esther wanted to be far from so many people. 

“I want a place I can walk along the shore. I want I place I can feel my sister. I want to lay my hand on waves and touch the water she might be touching.” 

They drove north. Fabian took the wheel and all the coastal routes. Every now and then he’d stop at a likely place so Griffin and Esther could get out of the car to get a feel of the place. Emmeline was right. There was something magical about Esther. It was a magic the Marlene was not tuned in to. Esther could feel things, know things, that Marlene could not. 

They were parked on the side of a road in Rye, New Hampshire. 

“She can feel things,” Fabian said.

“I know. I can’t explain it.”

“It’s a magic of a sort. Maybe we’ve all got magic in us. I can feel things. No, I can’t. I can just feel one thing. I’ve always felt it.”

Marlene looked out at the surf breaking on the rocks. The sun was shining on the blue water. It was a perfect day for walking along the sea, beachcombing. But Marlene felt separated from the day, from life, from the living. 

“I know. You try to hide it, but I know you have a secret.”

“I think Gideon knows it too. Now. Maybe it’s a twin thing.” 

Marlene felt her bottom lip quiver but she made herself ask.

“What do you know?”

 

“I won’t,” Fabian stopped and looked out the window while he gathered himself. “I won’t see them grow up. Billy, Charlie…any of them.” He took a deep breath. “I’m okay with that. They’ll be okay. But the only thing I can see, Marlene, when I look far ahead, the only thing I can see is Gideon’s face. And his mouth isn’t smiling but his eyes are. Which is stupid. Eyes can’t smile. But they are. And they’re bleeding. And then there’s just nothing. 

And I’ve had this vision for a long time, Marl, a long time, since I was little. But Gideon always looked older to me. But now, Gideon looks just as he does today. “

Fabian opened the car door and stepped away from her, into the dancing breeze coming off the Atlantic. Marlene popped open her own door and ran around the car to gather him into her arms. 

Fabian looked over her head to the ocean. He didn’t tell her that Gideon’s future flickered out of his knowing soon thereafter. He didn’t tell her that only thing keeping him from driving her off into the American west was this vision in his mind of a light beyond the darkness. This vision had come to him only recently and he only saw it when he was truly exhausted, and most in need of sleep, but in that light he saw Arthur’s face, and James Potter’s, and that Granger bird’s. 

He held her close. He’d always been good at living for the moment and any moment with Marlene in his arms was the best that life had to offer. “Forget it,” he said. “Fuck it and marry me and if anything happens let’s meet here. This shoreline hasn’t seen war in long time. Let’s do our bit and retire here. Whether it’s in this life or the next.” 

“I have a boyfriend,” Marlene said.

“I know. It will be a shock to him to discover you have husband. I feel very bad.”

Marlene laid her head on Fabian’s shoulder. “I feel like we got married when we were eleven.” 

“Tell me that’s a yes.”

“I suppose it is. I suppose it’s always been yes.” 

~*~

The break-up had not gone well. Julian had been ugly and bitter. He showed Marlene a side of himself previously kept hidden. But it was more than that. Julian had seemed frantic, almost terrified of losing her. 

“I offered to be secret keeper for you! How can you just throw me away?”

A chill went up Marlene’s spine. Julian had always been eager to be secret keeper for her family. Had he been too eager? Marlene wouldn’t fool herself by thinking he was madly in love with her. She’d already been foolish enough in trusting him. 

Her suspicions were confirmed when Julian went missing. He didn’t show up to keep watch. No one saw him for three days. It was Molly who found him while putting the kettle on for tea early one morning. She looked out the window and thought the scarecrow in the field beyond the protection charms looked odd. She shivered and looked away. She knew Arthur was upstairs in bed. 

“Not Gideon or Fabian,” she pleaded. She said the words again and again until they turned into screams and brought Arthur and Fabian running into the kitchen. Molly could only point out the window in response to their questions. 

“Oh Merlin, oh fuck, stay with her, Arthur, I’ll go.” Fabian tore from the room, dashed across the yard and into the rows of corn stalks. He could hear Molly yelling after him that it could be a trap. He had a dreadful feeling that he ought to slow down, that he didn’t want to know who was tied up out here. He thought it might be Gideon. 

He shoved those thoughts down. He could hear Arthur running behind him. He’s hurt but not dead, Fabian said to himself. Molly will fix him. He’s hurt but not dead. 

The figure staked into the ground was dead but it was not Gideon. It was Walsh. He had clearly been tortured and the sight was ghastly. He was shirtless and carved into his skin were the words; “Who else do you trust that answers to me?”

Arthur ran into the clearing then and both of them stood for a moment in shock. 

“Check it for curses. Then let’s cut him down. I don’t want the children to see this,” Arthur said grimly. 

Fabian nodded. He lifted his wand to check for curses and found none. Arthur waved his wand to unbind the ropes and Julian Walsh slid from his final perch with a sickening thud. 

“What shall we do with him?”

Arthur conjured a blanket and drew it over Julian’s mutilated body. “Send word to St. Mungo’s. I know his father. I’d better bring word in person. Get back to Molly.” Arthur apparated and Fabian hurried back to the Burrow. He sent his Patronus ahead him to let Molly know it was not Gideon and then sent another to Saint Mungo’s. They would send someone to collect the body.


	5. Chapter 5

Marlene attended the funeral out of respect for Julian’s parents, whom she liked. The couple was shocked by their son’s death, the manner of it, and the fact that he had been a traitor. Marlene could not bring herself to cry. He had betrayed her. He had betrayed all of them. 

The funeral was crowded despite this. The Walshes were a respected family. Gideon and Fabian had refused to come but Emmeline stood staunchly by Marlene’s side. 

“I feel like I’m wearing a scarlet letter. Everyone must think I can’t be trusted. I dated him. I brought him into our circle of friends. I brought him into my family. People will think I’m the other one who answers to You-know-who.” 

Emmeline squeezed her hand. “No one thinks that, Marly. No one who knows you could ever think that.”

~*~

The shock had sent Molly into labor. The two male babies were born at midnight after keeping their mother in labor for eighteen hours. Gideon sank into a chair beside Molly’s hospital bed. She smiled at him but the smile trembled.

“I thought it was you out there. He had dark hair too. I thought it was you.”

Gideon let his head fall forward onto the bed and nestle against his older sister. “It wasn’t me. How are the twins?” 

“They are the sweetest things. You get to name one. Would you like to call it Gideon?”

“God, no. One of me is enough. What about George? That’s a fine upstanding name.”

“Georgie, I like it, I’ll name the younger one George.”

“And have him be lorded over his whole life? Name the older one George. It will be my only revenge on Fabian.” They were silent for a time. “Perhaps the next one will be a boy too. Keep trying though, love. I have a feeling you’ll get a girl and she’ll be a firecracker, like you.” 

Molly ran her fingers through Gideon’s hair and sighed. “Sometimes I wish this had all happened when I was younger, before I had children. I’d like to stand up to these Death Eaters. I feel like I’d like a good fight. But I’ve five children now, and they need their mother. It’s not that I don’t believe in what you’re doing.” 

“You don’t have to fight, Molly. That’s what you’ve got me for. They won’t get at you. I promise. I won’t let them do to you what they did to Mum.”

“Gideon, Mum knew what she was doing. We were all grown. She laid down her life to make the fight easier for us.”

Gideon sighed. “I know. I want to end it, Molly. I don’t want you to ever have to make the choice she did.” They were silent for a time. “Fabian’s engaged, you know.”

“I know. Thank Merlin. I think he’ll settle down now.”

“He’ll build a family soon.”

“I suppose he will.”

“I won’t ever have children. I won’t have a family in that way.”

“You have Walter. He makes you happy. He needs you now.”

“He’s a grown man. He’s a bit shaken up but he’ll survive. My responsibility is to you, to your children.”

“You knew I was going to ask you.”

“I knew you’d have to ask one of us. Ask me.”

“We need to leave The Burrow, Gideon. We need to go to a new place for a time. Will you be secret keeper?”

“Yes,” Gideon whispered. “Just don’t go spreading the news around. And hold me tight a bit longer. I know what can happen to secret keepers.” 

Molly held him like she did when they were both little and frightened. She sang an old lullaby and Gideon fell asleep in the warmth of his sister’s embrace. 

~*~

Gideon wandered the empty rooms of The Burrow. The house felt sad. It was a place that needed the bustle of children, and cooking smells, and people coming and going at all hours. Some of the magic seemed to have gone out of it. 

He’d thought of a place for Walter. He’d move him there in a couple of days. Maybe a week. Soon. Gideon rubbed his eyes. He didn’t want to let Walter go. He didn’t want anything to separate them now. But if he and Fabian were attacked here Walter could be in danger. Gideon, more than anything, needed Walter to be safe. 

He wandered out into the yard and watched the gnomes for awhile. Arthur never could control them. 

He came out of the bushes then. Gideon didn’t quite believe it for a moment, but cats had a magic of their own. Walter’s cat had escaped Voldemort. He had found Walter here.

“Come here, puss. He’s just inside.” 

The cat sat down and made Gideon come to him. Gideon gathered him up and pressed his face into his fur. He walked up the rickety stairs to the bedroom where Walter was leaning over a pensieve. Gideon watched him for a moment. Walter took his wand and put it to his temple. He laid the wand on the surface of the pensieve, murmuring incantations. Gideon coughed quietly.

“It’s you. A memory of you. That night that Edgar and Fabian were in the hospital wing. God, Gideon, you were so beautiful. It comforts me, knowing your beauty’s in the world.”

Gideon nearly dropped the cat, thinking of that day. He could see Walter’s face and shoulders and bare arms, the muscles in them taut and straining above him. 

“You should take my memories of it too.”

Walter smiled. “I’d like that. You looked scared but happy.”

Gideon let out a breath of laughter. “I was scared I would break, or you would break, that we’d break each other somehow. I never wanted to be without you.” 

Walter shook his head to clear it, to bring himself back to the present. It was a mannerism that Gideon loved. Walter could wander down paths of thought that Gideon couldn’t follow but Walter always came back to him. 

“You have a visitor.”

Walter put down his wand. He blinked in the dim light. He saw Gideon’s face and couldn’t tear his eyes away from it for a moment. The cat meowed. Walter brought his hands to his face. 

“I never thought to hope for this.”

“I did. I called and called for him. All I found was ashes.”

“Things rise from ashes.”

Walter took the cat in his arms and looked at it with wonder. “Poor puss. You’ve had quite the adventure.” 

Gideon wondered if they would rise from the ashes of this hell or if they’d all be consumed by the fire. He wondered if he’d be the ashes someone else would rise from. He wouldn’t care, he’d leave this life behind if it would do anyone any good. He would do it without a moment’s regret. 

If he didn’t have to leave Walter. 

~*~  
Soft, soft light of an overcast day with no rain. Gideon’s arms spread out, his hands silhouetted by the light of the window. His fingers clenching and unclenching. His voice sputtering and dying amongst the bird calls. 

“Cry out. Fabian’s not here.”

Gideon biting his lip. “To use to loving you in secret. Too many nights loving you in a dormitory.”

Walter moved with the intent of getting Gideon’s lips to open, to hearing the cries he kept to himself. He just wanted a gasp of pleasure, a cry of bliss. He didn’t expect the torrent of love and need that escaped Gideon’s lips. But he wasn’t surprised that his own voice echoed them. 

~*~

The fog was heavy that night. Walter could see the clouds rolling along the pavement. He pulled his damp shirt away from his skin. Walter didn’t need the humidity to make him sweat. It felt odd enough to be back out in the world.  
Bridget and Edgar would relieve them in another half hour. Walter would go home and sink into a cool bath. He’d pad upstairs to the bedroom and find Gideon. He’d be half asleep, the bedside light on to keep him up and worrying. He’d ask where Walter had been and smile to find him so whole, so full of life. And Walter wouldn’t have to pretend to be brave anymore. 

So, when he heard the crack of apparition down the street, Walter felt relief. Perhaps Bridget and Edgar had decided to come early. 

He didn’t expect the spell that tore into him. It hurt. And suddenly his chest was wet with blood. Lily turned and fired a counter-curse at him. _Evanesco_. Walter saw Sirius’s Patronus leap from his wand and gallop off into the night. Lily pulled him down behind a hedge. 

“The prophesy. Dumbledore told us. It’s about the Grangers’ daughter.”

Walter fought to retain control of himself, to not sink into memories. He focused on Lily’s face. “The Grangers don’t have a daughter.”

“Yet,” Lily said fiercely. “And not ever if we don’t succeed tonight.” 

“What does it say?”

Lily glanced over the hedge to check on James and cast diagnostic spell at Walter.

“I’m fine! What does the prophesy say?”

“ _She will walk in the shadow of lightening  
She will strengthen the love that is cast  
Without her the Darkness will flourish  
Born to the healers of bones  
Of the trio, she alone, will be last._” 

“What, pray fuck, does that mean?”

“I dunno. That we’ve got to save her mother, at any rate.” 

“Right,” Walter breathed. “No darkness shall flourish on my watch.”

“Does it seem strange to pin all your hopes on an infant that hasn’t even been conceived yet?” 

“No,” Walter grabbed Lily’s hand. “I pin my hopes for the human race on the next generation every day. Have another, Lils. Have lots of kinky sex and write me about it when we’re done here.”

Lily smiled. “Only if you return the favor. Are you recovered?”

Walter nodded. 

“Over the top then.” 

They burst out behind James and Sirius, firing spells, blocking curses. Walter fired a bat bogey hex at one of the dark figures. The creature clawed at its own face and Walter used the pause to send two Patronuses. One went to Mad Eye, the other to Dumbledore. In the middle of all the chaos Mr. Granger came out of his front door. He was in his night clothes. His hair was rumpled and it was lit up by a curse that soared far too close to his face. 

“Get in! Go!” Fabian shouted. The man just stood there, awed, confused. His wife’s tousled hair peaked out from behind the door. Walter started to run but out of the corner of his eye he saw the blur of his friend. Even Muggles were known to use super-human strength in times of great need. Walter saw what that kind of need could do to a wizard’s speed. Fabian was at the door in less than a second, pushing the Grangers inside. 

“Don’t be frightened. I’m on your side,” Walter heard him shout. Fabian would have locked them inside and turned back to the fray but a spell caught him in the back. His face contorted and he fell into Mr. Grangers arms. This seemed to wake Granger from his confusion. His face set and he pulled Fabian into the house, shutting the door behind them. 

Out of the corner of his eye Walter saw Lily fall. He didn’t know if she was hurt or dead and he didn’t have time to find out. Three Death Eater’s were on him and he threw all his energy into obliterating them. He called up all the anger he felt at seeing Emmeline’s clothes torn, and his own body tortured, and the grief in Lily’s eyes. He could feel the curses coming before they left his opponents’ wands. He was the Death Eaters’ worst nightmare. He was a powerful wizard and he was out for revenge. 

He fought the three confronting him savagely and left them for dead without a moment’s hesitation. The first one he melted. He froze him first and then blasted him with heat that made his blood flow onto the lawn. The second he sent flying backwards to be impaled on the Granger’s white picket fence. The third looked scared and Walter was gratified. He ended his life easily by firing a curse that ended his life quickly. He could hear the pops that meant more people were apparating into the battle but he didn’t have time to check if they were friends or foes. He blew apart the wizard that had James Potter cornered with a powerful Reducto curse that left fragments of brain on James’s robes. He turned to face whatever other evils were lurking when Gideon pinned his arms to his side. Walter’s first instinct was to fight him off.

“It’s over. It’s done. Come back to me.” 

It was eerily silent. Had Walter just imagined all the screams? James rolled the dead Death Eater off him and crawled toward Lily. 

“Please, no,” he heard him whisper. Sirius ran across the grass and knelt over her too and Walter heard them both muttering healing spells. In the moonlight he saw Emmeline. She was wearing a white night dress. She’d been aroused from her bed to join the battle. She was beautiful. Both of her eyes were blackened and her lip was bleeding, but she was still beautiful. 

“That’s what I should have done to them. That night. That’s what I should have done.” 

Emmeline just looked at him. She just looked and looked until Marlene ran over and grabbed her hand. 

“Let’s get you out of here,” Gideon said in his ear and then there was that tight feeling of apparition and then they were alone in McKinnon’s sitting room. 

Gideon paced the floor in front of the fire. 

“You love her,” he said.

“Of course I do! Do you see what I just did?”

“It was sick, Walter! Sick!” Gideon stopped pacing. “You’re not well. It’s more than that though. You love her and not me.” 

Walter’s heart stopped beating at the absurdity of these words. “Of course I love you. I’ve loved you since we were eleven.” 

Gideon nodded. “You have. You do. But you love her more.” 

“You’re out of you mind. I love her, and Marlene, and Alice. We were kids together. You love them! I have a bit of a school-boy crush on Lily Potter, if you must know. But I’m in love with you, Gideon.”

Gideon waved this away and paced the room some more. “I’m out of my mind? What the fuck were you even doing there? I told you not to take a watch. You’re not ready.”

“Not ready! I just won that battle. I saved James Potter’s life. I’m more than ready.”

“You didn’t have to kill them like that. At least Avada Kedavra is clean, quick.”

Walter’s mouth opened and shut several times before he could find words. He could not keep the bitterness from his voice. “What about Crucio, Gideon, hmm? Is that quick, painless? What about rape and killing babies? Is that humane? I gave them what they deserved.”

“What about what we deserve, Walter? Emmeline and Marlene aren’t in this because they love gore and bloodshed. Neither am I. We had to watch that. We’ll never get it out of our minds. And the scariest bit was you. You were out of control.” 

Walter paused. It still felt good, giving the Death Eaters their just desserts, but he’d seen the horror in Emmeline’s eyes. She’d been horrified and she’d been looking at him. Gideon was looking at him with horror. Gideon’s face. He only ever wanted to think of that face and see love, lust, joy. He sat down heavily on the sofa. 

“Don’t look like that. You weren’t there. You’ve never felt what they can do. You don’t know what it does to you.”

Gideon startled him by screaming. “I have felt it! I sat by your bedside for a week. I didn’t know if I’d ever get you back. I’ve listened to you scream in your sleep every night! You call my name. You beg me to help you. I saw Emmeline’s clothes soaked with your blood. And I lost that baby. My wrists didn’t spontaneously bleed but my heart did. I lost that baby too.

I lost my mother and Emmeline had to wake up with blood between her legs, I can’t even imagine the hell of that, but neither of us wants to be as ugly as you were tonight.” 

Walter could not control the sobs that ripped from him. 

“I don’t want to regret that night. I want to picture your hands silhouetted against the window like birds about to fly. I want to close my eyes and remember her smiling before she kissed you, the way her hair flowed over your shoulder. I want to remember how I felt. It just felt like love that overflowed its banks. Like there was more love than we knew what to do with. How can that be bad? But it feels like we’re being punished for it. I do love her, not more or less than you, just different. My mother was always going on about sin. I don’t understand it, but I think if you have too much of something, even love, you must have to pay for it.”

Gideon sank to his knees in front of Walter and grabbed his hands. “You don’t have to pay for anything, Walter. You’re a good man. Emmeline doesn’t deserve to be punished. I don’t deserve to be punished. You don’t deserve to be punished. You just have to get better. You have to let it go. What they did was wrong but you can’t make it right by being less than what you are.” 

~* ~

Gideon brought Walter to Aunt Betsy’s cottage. Walter hadn’t been back there since first year, when he’d gathered her meager possessions. This cottage had done much to heal Walter once and Gideon hoped it might do the job again. 

The garden was overgrown and the house needed care. 

“I’ll get some food. I’ll come back to help you clean up.”

“No,” Walter said. “I mean, come back, but I’ll do the work. It will be good to do work.” 

The first day Walter didn’t do much but walk around the grounds. He looked at the old manor house which was shuttered and melancholy. It made Walter said. It had once been a pretty house, a bit ornate by today’s standards, but it had brought joy to someone once. Walter thought he’d quite like to fix it up, but he thought he ought to start small. He ought to start with Aunt Betsy’s garden. 

The sight of the garden filled him with shame. Weeds were rampant and his mother’s headstone was covered with moss. He ought to have taken care of it. Walter spent his first days there, vanishing rotting leaves and weeds, setting stonework straight and dreaming about summer. 

He turned to the cottage next. There was much to do and after a frustrating day Walter ordered a book of household spells from Flourish and Blott’s. He spent another frustrating day and then he sent an owl to Molly. 

They started in the sitting room.

“The key to getting the spells to work well, dear, is in the intention. You have to visualize a home. You have to think of what the spell will mean to the people that live here, or visit here. Watch, I’m thinking of you sitting by the fire with Gideon on a cold winter’s night.”

Molly cast a wordless spell and the fireplace stopped smoking and looked decidedly cleaner. “You see? It’s dreams that make a home. Good dreams.”

Walter stood still. He was trying not to cry. 

“Did I say something wrong?”

“No, Molly. It’s just that I already had so much to thank you for. I know I was such a burden to you. I put your little ones in danger and you just…took care of me…and I wasn’t a good house guest. And now I owe you more. I don’t know if I can ever repay you for your care. And now you’ve given me hope. You’ve given me a reason, permission, to dream happy dreams.” 

Molly didn’t look at him. She went into the kitchen and started firing spells that banished dust and shined the cooker. 

“Molly?”

“I didn’t do it for you. I want to be perfectly honest. I did it for Gideon. We never particularly got on, did we?”

“No, we haven’t. If it was something I did I’d like to fix it if I can. Apologize at least, but I don’t know what I’ve done.”

“You didn’t do anything. I just didn’t particularly like you. You were always strange to me. You were always prattling on a mile a minute and knowing everything. Working at the Department of Mysteries. Even when you were in first year and I was in my fifth you always knew more than me. And then when I’d try to talk to you, to make some effort to like you for Gideon’s sake, you were always a million miles away in your thoughts. Gideon told me that’s just the way you are but…I didn’t understand you.

I don’t really understand Gideon and Fabian either. They’ve always been two steps ahead of me. But they were my brothers and I was proud of them. I loathed it in you.”

She was silent for a moment and she cast a few more cleaning spells. The kitchen table squeaked in protest at being so thoroughly scrubbed. She turned away from him and brought the kitchen fire springing to life, but Walter saw the tears on her face.

“Merlin forbid I ever have to take care of you again, but if I did, I’d do it for you. I always wished for another little brother. You’re a good man, Walter. You make Gideon happy. And you were hurt and yet you went out to fight them again. And I took care of you grudgingly. Will you forgive me?”

Walter didn’t say anything. He started to walk across the kitchen. It seemed a long walk but Molly was at the end of it and she folded him into her arms.

~*~

The dark mark glimmered in the night sky as Amelia and Edgar kicked their broomsticks off the ground and soared away, curses flying past them. They had to get to an apparition point. They would have time to grieve for their family later. 

They were getting close to the ancient oak tree that marked the apparition boundary. They would get away. Together. She would get to keep her brother. She pointed her broom at the tree and thought of her older sister’s house. She would go to Cecily who had caught a cold and missed the party. Amelia fixed the house in her mind’s eye so she could apparate quickly. She soared pass the oak and jumped off her broom. She turned on the spot but in the second before the apparition spell seized her she saw Edgar go down.

~*~

She was waiting for him in the rain. Fabian could almost believe that it was the summer they were sixteen. She hadn’t changed so very much. She looked peaceful with her face held up to the mist. He wanted to freeze time. Even if it meant he’d never get to touch her again. He’d gladly spend all of eternity just watching her be happy. 

She turned though and saw him. She started to smile before something about him warned her, drove the peace from her face.

“What’s happened?”

He walked over and sat down beside her. He turned his own face to the mist and wished it would rain harder, maybe a heavy rain would hide his tears because he could not tell her this and be able to stop them from falling. 

“Fabian?”

“The Bones. Edgar and Priscilla. His parents. Bridget. The children. Amelia got away.”

Marlene let out a startled scream. “When?”

“Last night.” Fabian’s words were choked. “Bridget and Priscilla were in the parlor with Mr. and Mrs. Bones and the children. Amelia and Edgar were in the kitchen, lighting the candles on Bridget’s birthday cake. They got on broomsticks. Edgar…” Fabian stopped and ran his hands roughly over his face. “Edgar nearly made it. Didn’t though.”

Fabian closed his eyes and saw Edgar on the Quidditch field, pelting after a snitch. He wished Edgar had saved just a bit of that speed. If he’d caught one less snitch would he still be alive now?

The rain began to come down harder. Marlene was holding on to his arm so tightly it hurt. Fabian smiled bitterly. Out of all the wishes to come true he’d gotten a hard rain. He thought of Edgar running through puddles with Gideon and Walter. He thought of Bridget on her first day at Hogwarts looking so small, always trailing after her sister. 

He threw back his head and screamed and roared at the sky.


	6. Chapter 6

“There can’t be a funeral. We might as well put in ad in The Prophet telling Voldemort that we’re all gathered and can he please come slaughter us?”

“Don’t go then.” Fabian said. “Half of wizarding Brittan will be there. Do you really think Voldemort’s going to commit to open war? He’s too cowardly. He’d rather kill families at birthday parties.”

Pettigrew subsided. 

“Someone talked. Someone told You-Know-Who about the Bones’ secret keeper,” Alice said.

“Has she been found yet?” Emmeline asked. "Their secret keeper?"

“No, and there’s no way she’d turn traitor. She’s Priscilla’s sister. They got her,” Fabian said. 

Emmeline shivered. “Sorry, Emmy.” Fabian’s hands were shaking so much he couldn’t knot his tie. Emmeline came over and pushed his hands down. “Let me.”

“Part of me hopes they do show up. I’d like nothing more than to kick Dolohov in the teeth.”

“Don’t say that,” Remus said. “You can kick Dolohov in the teeth sometime when there are less old people and kids around.” 

~*~

The rest of the summer was a nightmare. People disappeared. Muggles were kidnapped and tortured and dumped in Order members’ gardens. The dark mark appeared over two more wizard dwellings in August. The day before the Hogwart’s Express was set to leave London Timothy Conners, Bridget’s boyfriend, was found on the tracks outside of King’s Cross station. 

A lot of children were escorted to Hogwarts by their parents.

~*~

“We have to find some way of giving it to her,” Alice said. “The prophesy will never come true if we don’t.” 

They were sitting around their monthly Ending Potion. Yellow leaves were swirling down from the trees. The sky was a deep blue and there was a bite of cold in the wind. They were not particularly worried about indiscretion. At this point they all knew everything about how James, Frank, Walter, Gideon and Fabian behaved in and out of bed, and about how each of them felt about it. It had ceased to interest them. 

Marlene sighed. “Let’s keep it simple. Fabian said she’s been having trouble conceiving for a long time. We’ll go over, say we’re witches who have a cure and give it to her.” 

“That might frighten her,” Emmeline noted. “The witches bit. She might think of green skin and warts.”

“We’ll say we have Eastern medicine. We’ll do something with incense and chimes,” Lily said. 

“And if all else fails we’ll shove it down her throat and give her a memory charm,” Alice finished.

They all paused to look at her. Alice was different now from the Hufflepuff school-girl they had known for so long. 

“We need to get the job done,” Alice said. “We’ll be as kind as we can.”

“Memory charms as a last resort,” Lily insisted.

“Maybe only two of us should go,” Emmeline said.

As it turned out, everyone was suddenly too busy but Lily. Lily understood that it was a distasteful task, and didn’t blame the others for wanting nothing to with it. But Lily’s heart ached at the thought of this woman trying and trying to conceive a child. She thought Emmeline might want to be in on this errand but quickly stopped trying to convince her after an owl from Marlene. The circumstances around Emmeline’s pregnancy were far different from Lily’s own. 

At Fabian’s suggestion, she contacted Molly, who agreed whole-heartedly. 

Lily spent the next month joining Margot Granger’s book club and gym, enduring a Muggle teeth cleaning, and shopping at Margot’s grocery store when she knew that Margot would be there. Over tea in the Granger’s cozy house they became friends and Lily was saddened by the fact that a memory charm would be inevitable. She liked Margot. And the tears Lily spilled when she listened to Margot’s frustration and guilt at not being able to conceive, and when Lily shared the (edited) story of her own miscarriage, were genuine, but there could be no link between them. It was dangerous. It might already be too dangerous.

“I was thinking about trying some Eastern medicine. I have a friend who’s studied medicine in China. It’s all about being holistic and working with herbs. It can’t hurt, you know. “

Lily held her breath while she waited for Margot’s response. “I’ve been reading up on that. William thinks it’s a load of nonsense but there is research to back it up. Do you suppose I’d have to tell him?”

Lily shook her head and smiled. They set a date for Tuesday next. William would be at work. 

~*~

Lily talked Molly out of wearing a kimono. “You look as Asian as my left foot. Just show up looking like a nice, cozy, English mum. That will comfort her. She has a gas stove, which is just as good as a fire, and really, potions brew just as well in a soup pot as they do in a cauldron.” 

“What’s a gas stove?”

“Oh honestly, while you do the incense and charms bit, I’ll brew the potion. Just wait until it turns clear before you give it to us.”

~*~

Margot lowered her cup of potion. “It doesn’t taste half bad.”

Lily’s lower lip trembled. “No, here’s the sticky bit, though. I love you more than I have any right to. And I will miss you. I need to do a complicated memory charm though, so you’ll take the potion every month, and so you won’t remember me.”

“I’m sorry?” Margot said, clearly baffled. 

“I know it doesn’t make sense. I wish I could explain it better and I hope some part of you will remember our friendship. I’ll always be looking out for you. But, Margot, you and William have to fuck like bunnies and make a baby as soon as you can, okay? The potion’s only good for three months.” 

Margot, still confused, giggled at this last instruction. Lily blew her a kiss. Molly took her wand from her sleeve and started the memory charm. When Margot was asleep Lily kissed her cheek. “Goodbye. I hope your child knows how wonderful you are. I hope I get to meet her one day.”

“Her?” Molly asked.

“Just a feeling,” Lily said. 

~*~

The trees were bare and the dew had turned to frost by the time the house was ready. Walter had a housewarming party scheduled for the next evening but he wanted Gideon to see it first. He’d not invited Gideon back since Gideon had left him there at the beginning of summer. 

He arrived at dusk and Walter had all the candles lit and every fire burning. The apparition point was way out on the moor, beyond the protection boundaries, and Walter knew the house would look warm and inviting after braving the wind and mist. It would look like a home. 

Gideon was quiet. He’d brought a bottle of wine and a plant for the garden. They ate dinner and didn’t mention the war. Gideon talked about every charming thing his nephews had done and Walter talked about the house and his plans for the garden. They took their whiskey by the fire in sitting room, just as Molly had pictured. Walter felt he had more happiness than he knew what to do with. 

“You seem better, Walter. You seem more at peace than I’ve ever known you to be.”

“I am. There’s magic in this place. It’s got nothing to do with spells. It’s a healing place, for when your soul is battered. It saved Betsy and saved me twice.” 

“You saved each other. This place comforts you.” 

“It’s more than that. You haven’t mentioned the war all evening. Don’t say it’s for my benefit. You’ve owled me nothing but war news.” 

Gideon smiled. “It’s true. I feel at home here. Will you stay for awhile? People miss you.”

Walter stood to lean on the mantelpiece and stare into the fire. “You mean, am I ready to rejoin the real world? The fight? Maybe. I’ve started working again. From here. It’s not much but it’s a start. There’s something I want to do.”

“You told me about opening up the manor house. That will take years, Walter, but if it’s what you need…”

“I want to do that but not yet.” Walter got up and stared into the fire as he spoke. “You saw the Daily Prophet, that story about the Muggle-born boy whose family was killed? He’s ten. He’s out there. The muggle police put him in a sort of home for unclaimed children. He must be so lost and confused. I was sort of like him once. I was caught between two worlds. I talked to Dumbledore and the Ministry. He’s a sitting target. There’s no reason not to tell him now. He’ll get his owl this summer anyway. I want to take him. I want to offer him a home until September. This place will be good for him. He could help me fix up the big house, maybe. Maybe other kids could stay there. Kids that have been hurt by the war. Children who have no place else to go.”

Gideon didn’t say anything. Walter turned. Gideon was looking steadily at him but his eyes were filled with unshed tears and his hand was over his mouth. 

“It’s not really enough to say I love you. It doesn’t mean enough.” 

“Show me then.”

Molly had envisioned cozy nights in front of the fire for her brother when she’d cleaned the fireplace but Walter had cleaned and mended the rug in front of it and his vision hadn’t been nearly as chaste. He didn’t care about the spilled whiskey and sweat that fell upon it. All he cared about was that Gideon’s arm muscles were corded and taut in the firelight. Gideon’s hands, when they reached for him, looked like a bird’s wings poised to take flight. 

“Don’t fly away yet. Stay with me. Just another moment.”

Gideon stayed another moment and he was warm and sturdy and smelled like the sea when Walter was ready to let him go. 

~*~

Walter felt the house seep into his bones that night. He had invited every member of the order and house was bursting with good cheer. Gideon was languid from making love for a night and day. Fabian and Marlene were glowing in pre-nuptial bliss. Molly ran over to hug him when she saw the cottage transformed. 

“I could tell from way out on the moor that it was a home.”

Fabian clinked his spoon against his glass before dessert was served.

“I have news, but so does Molly and I give the floor to her.”

“You go first, Fabian. Your news is something we’ve all fought for.”

Fabian bowed to his sister. “It is my privilege to announce that, through your efforts and sacrifice, the Grangers are expecting.” 

Everyone was on their feet at once. Remus and Sirius broke out the champagne and their glasses were raised high before Lily called a halt to the toast to ask what Molly’s news was.

“Oh, well, Arthur and I can’t be happy unless there’s a baby keeping us up at all hours I suppose.”

There was roar of glee that shook the house in a happy way. Walter watched them all toast the new lives. He watched Lily. She raised a glass of water and pressed herself closely against James’s side. When she smiled up at him there was only hope in her eyes. 

~*~

Gavin arrived the day after Christmas. Walter showed him his room and took him for a walk around the estate. He told him a little about Hogwarts and the magical world.

“You’ll have more questions. Maybe you’ll just want to be left alone with your thoughts. Tell me what you need when you know. I’ll be here.” 

He left Gavin staring at the boarded up windows of the manor house. 

Gavin found him at twilight, in the garden. “This world. It’s a place where people die because they’re not good enough in someone’s eyes?”

Walter took a deep breath. “All worlds are like that. Some people die because of hatred. Every world needs someone to fight on the side of the good.” 

“Are there more worlds than just yours and mine? Muggle and magical?”

“I don’t know.”

“But my parents died because of me. Because I’m like you?”

“They died because of hatred. They didn’t die because of you.”

“The house on the hill makes me sad. The big one.” 

“It makes me sad too. Would you like to help me fix it?”

Gavin nodded. “That would be something good.” 

So they began. It was slow work. Gavin didn’t have a wand and so they worked mostly by hand. Walter found there was something even more magical by working this way instead of casting spells. He touched every inch of the entrance hall with his fingers. His muscles ached with his efforts. His sweat and blood went into returning the entrance hall to its former glory. 

Gideon would come by to help as often as he could. He turned up on Valentine’s Day to see the table in the entrance hall filled with his favorite chocolates. 

“Fuck. Valentine’s Day. I’m sorry, Walter. I forgot. Something’s happened.”

Walter’s chest grew tight. “Is everyone okay?”

“Everyone’s fine. James and The Mauraders. They got themselves into a bit of a battle with werewolves, of all things. Trust them to pick a fight with werewolves.”

“How do you know they picked a fight?”

“They must have done. They were in the Forest of Dean on the night of a full moon, in February. They weren’t just out there to camp. Remus got torn up pretty bad but they say he’ll recover. That poor bastard has the worst luck.”

“I’m pretty sure Remus is a werewolf.” 

“Pardon?”

“Don’t say anything. I only noticed because I’m…”

“Because you’re you.”

“Right. So what do you think they were doing? James and Sirius and Peter, they had to know better than to think Remus wouldn’t hurt them during a full moon. Even if he is their friend.”

“I don’t know. Maybe they got word he was in trouble.”

Gideon thought about this for a few moments. It seemed incredible that Remus could be a werewolf but it would explain the scars and the frequent illnesses. 

“Well, regardless, they got away but one of them followed James back to Godric’s Hollow. James killed him. Lily’s pregnant. He didn’t want to risk the fellow getting at her or getting away.”

Walter smiled. “Lily’s pregnant? That’s wonderful!”

“Yes. But Voldemort’s let it be known that he wants Potter’s heads. They have to go into hiding. They won’t be able to keep watches or fight anymore.” 

Walter blew a deep breath from his lungs. “So The Order needs me back? My holiday is over?”

Gideon wouldn’t look at him. “I don’t want you to go back. I want you to stay here, where you’re safe. But we’ve lost so many and we’re spread pretty thin…”

“Of course I’ll do it, Gids,” Walter interrupted. 

“Good, that’s good.” Gideon handed Walter a slip of paper with the address of headquarters in Dumbledore’s handwriting. “Burn that. I’ll see you tonight.” 

~*~

Headquarters was in a little cabin on the sea.

It was quite a small meeting. Their numbers had indeed dwindled. Emmeline and Marlene were there, but not Alice. She was expecting too and hidden away. Remus and Sirius and Peter looked lonely without James. Walter kept looking around for Edgar and Bridget but only Amelia was there, of course. Caradoc Dearborn had come back from the continent with gray in his hair. Everyone looked tired and kind of numb. 

“I’ll take the morning shift again with Mad-Eye. Someone needs to relieve me at ten though. I do have to make a living.” 

“I’ll do it,” Emmeline offered. Fabian added her name to the schedule. He wished he could just grab Marlene and go home and sleep. He was tired. He didn’t want to be here. What little excitement and novelty there had been in this war had died the night Edgar did. Fabian wanted it to be over. 

The candles blew out all at once.

“What’s going on?” Fabian couldn’t tell who was speaking but they sounded small and frightened. A coldness crept into the room and then the back wall of the cabin was on fire. They tore out into the night, running for the apparition points. Fabian shoved his friends out the door ahead of him. The Death Eater’s were descending on the clearing but most of The Order had reached the protection boundary and were apparating away. Only Gideon was left. 

“Go! Don’t wait for me. Go!”

Fabian began to run towards his brother waving his arms at him to apparate. Gideon didn’t. A jet of green light flew by Gideon’s face and he turned to face his attackers. Fabian reached him then and they stood back to back, casting and blocking spells. A fire sprang up making it hard to breathe. There were five of them, Death Eaters. Fabian could make out Dolohov and Travers and Bellatrix through the smoke. These were not good odds.

“We’ve got to get out of here! Apparate! Do it now!” Fabian screamed over the roar of the flames but Gideon couldn’t hear him. Gideon’s robes were on fire and then a spell hit him in the face. He went down. 

Fabian opened his mouth to scream but a full body bind curse hit him and he fell, unable to move, the cry frozen on his lips. The Death Eater’s began to beat him.

~*~

They’d all apparated to different spots, in case they were followed. Then they convened at Walter’s house. They all arrived within the hour. All except Gideon and Fabian. 

“No, no, no. He’ll be here. He’ll send an owl. He’s just hurt. Gideon is hurt, maybe.” 

Marlene stared into the flames of the fire, willing the brothers to Floo out of it. Walter went outside to stare at the bushes. Gideon had brought his cat back to him. His cat came out of the bushes. If a cat could do it, Gideon could. At first light Sirius and Remus went back to the cabin. They returned quickly. There had been a fire but there was nothing to see but scorched earth. There were no clues to follow. 

Hours went by. Days went by and Walter was only vaguely aware of people talking around him, pulling at him, putting food in his mouth. He stared at the fire, at the bushes, at the sky, at the empty moor. None of them brought the boy he loved marching home. 

On the third day a package came to the house. There was a little glass vial inside and a note that Walter couldn’t read. There was something wrong with his eyes. Dumbledore took it from Walter’s shaking hands. Inside the house someone started screaming. He thought it might be a girl. He thought it might be Marlene. 

~*~

When he woke he was tied to a chair that was facing the chair Gideon was tied to. Gideon had a massive lump on his forehead and a cut lip but otherwise looked okay. Fabian groaned. It felt like his ribs were broken. It hurt to breathe. His clothes were wet with his own blood and his head pounded. 

“I didn’t think you’d wake,” Gideon said. “I’m glad you did. Our hosts aren’t the best company.” 

“How long have we been here?”

“I don’t know. I think it’s been a couple of days. Maybe more.”

“What do they want?”

“Information. The McKinnons. The Potters. Black. The Grangers.”

“Did you tell them anything?”

Gideon smiled. “I don’t know anything.”

“Did I tell them anything?” 

“They mostly used you as target practice. They thought I’d care enough about that to talk. But I don’t know anything. You don’t anything.”

Fabian looked around. The room was empty but they must be listening. 

“I guess they’ll have to kill us.” 

Gideon’s lower lip trembled but his eyes were soft and comforting. 

They barged into the room then and Fabian tried to lift his arms to shield himself. Gideon didn’t try to look away. He’d done that once and they’d cast a spell to prevent him from blinking. He could control so little of his body anymore. The fire had burnt his hands terribly and even if they had handed him a wand he wouldn’t be able to hold it. He’d been able to keep them out of his mind. He’d been able to keep his secrets locked away. He’d been able to control his tongue. Anyway, if Fabian could endure the pain, he should be able to endure watching it. 

After an hour Fabian couldn’t even hold his head up anymore. They didn’t bother tying him to the chair. They just left him on the floor in a puddle of his own blood. Gideon didn’t want Fabian to go. He didn’t want to be left here alone but he made himself say the words anyway.

“Fabian, it’s okay to go. Go see Ed. I’ll be right behind you. Just like when we were born. I’ve always been right behind you.” 

There was snot and blood dripping down Fabian’s face. “I’ve loved so many things. Our friends, Hogwarts, Marlene, summer, the rain. It feels stupid to say I love you, Gids. It’s like saying I love my lungs, my arm. You’ve just always been a part of me. I do though. I love you.”

“Don’t say goodbye. Say, I’ll see you soon.”

Fabian looked at Gideon’s face. His lips weren’t smiling but his eyes were. 

“Go. We’ll be playing Quidditch with Ed soon.” 

“I…I see you.”

Clouds came into his brother’s eyes and Gideon was thankful. Gideon was thankful that Fabian was spared the knowledge of what they did to his little brother next. 

~*~

Hermione was crying. Walter took a handkerchief from his pocket and gave it to her. 

“They took his memories. They sent them to The Order. So we could see how he suffered. Emmeline didn’t want me to look at them. She wouldn’t. She said she didn’t want those memories of Gideon and Fabian. But I felt I had to. They were brave enough to endure it. I should have been brave enough to watch it. 

They kept him alive for two more days. It would have been kinder to kill him, you see. After awhile his mind broke and they must have doing unspeakable things to him but all you can see in the pensieve are snippets, Gideon’s memories of his life. Marlene in the common room. Fabian as a toddler. Emmeline running in the sun. Me holding a glowing moon snail. 

I wasn’t any good after I saw it. I wasn’t well. I stopped working on the big house. I sent Gavin away. Marlene and her family were killed about a week later. Emmeline came here. She lived with me until the Death Eaters got her in the second war. She was stronger than me. I never fought them again.”

Hermione’s head was reeling. There was so much to process. So much she hadn’t known. 

“Molly said you did a favor for The Order though, in the second war.”

Walter looked dazed as he turned away from his study of the fire. “A favor? Oh, she must be talking about the Dursleys. I let them stay in the big house when they had to hide. I never saw anyone, Muggle or Magical, who could clean like that woman. The big house is pretty nice now, but I still prefer it here. It’s where my memories are.”

Hermione looked around the cozy room and could see why. It was indeed a home, though one that was only shared with memories of people long gone. 

“You work for the Department of Mysteries, Mr. Keeland?”

“Yes.”

“You know how to fix my parents, don’t you?”

“Yes. I think so. That’s my field. I’ve been studying memory my whole life. My way of trying to bring them back I suppose. First, my mother, then Betsy, then Edgar and Gideon and Fabe, then the list got so long it took all my time. I couldn’t fight the Death Eaters again but I couldn’t let my friends’ stories be lost. You must think me a coward. I’ve gone and spent most of life reliving the past.”

“Of course I don’t. You saved my parents. You saved me.”

Walter frowned and shook his head. 

“I believe I can help your parents one more time though it’s illegal to experiment on humans, especially Muggles.”

“I won’t tell.”

Walter smiled. “Bring them here, then. Soon. I don’t go out. Not even now. But someone should get their loved ones back. I can’t let the Death Eater’s win every battle now, can I?”

Hermione rose and grabbed his hand. “I’m sorry for your loss, Mr. Keeland. I wish I had known your friends.” 

Hermione went to the kitchen to put her tea cup in the sink. She needed to get away. She needed time to think. 

“I don’t regret it. Especially now. I may have shocked all my friends but it was the one good thing I did, saving you.” 

“You don’t give yourself enough credit, Mr. Keeland. But I’ll never be able to thank you enough.” She kissed his cheek. Walter blushed. 

“A kiss from a young girl is always thanks enough. It has a magic of its own.” 

Hermione left shortly thereafter to be alone with her whirling thoughts. Walter watched through the window as she made her way down the icy walk. He started to cough and when he pulled his hand away from his mouth his palm was wet with blood. He turned to smile at the picture of the original Order that he kept on the mantelpiece. They were all dead now. All but one. 

“Golden lads and girls. I won’t be long. Just one more thing to do.”

Walter sat down at the desk and pulled out a quill. 

Hermione found him the next day sitting in an armchair. The fire had gone out and complicated directions for a memory reversal spell were sitting by his elbow. His eyes were closed and his hand was stiff and cold when Hermione bent to kiss it. He was smiling. His memories were safe now.


End file.
